DEBBIE

This is a story about a brief teenage love.  I am not quite sure how Debbie interpreted this relationship, but as for me at the time, it was love.  It did not last long and it never became anything more than a youthful experiment in keeping each other company.  I don't even think the words "I love you" were ever exchanged between us during this time.

Debbie was my first REAL girlfriend.  That is how I saw her.  Previous to Debbie I had taken a girl out once or twice or to a dance or something of the sort.  They were just dates.  Debbie was different though.  We were really good friends.  We made each other laugh.  I sincerely enjoyed my time with her and I do think she enjoyed the time with me.

We were in our early stages of high school.  Looking back on the timeline that my life took, our time together lasted only a year or so, if that long.  I think we started slowly dating as freshmen and on into our sophomore year.  Debbie's dad was the minister out my church.  He was a man that I greatly admired and respected.  I looked to him for advice at times and loved to talk with him.  Her father and me did not talk about anything deep I don't think, just small talk.  He was so very intelligent.

Debbie took after her father in the intelligence department.  She was a brilliant student.  This was one place where we differed.  She worked hard at school and produced the reward in grades that she deserved.  Me?  I did not care too much for school work and did what I had to do to get by.  Just as her grades reflected the amount of time and energy she put in to her education, mine did as well.  My grades were decent but well below hers. In addition to her basic education she was also a very good flute player in her high school band.  I remember many times making it over to her house somehow and then walking with her over to the school on Friday nights before a ball game where she would perform at halftime.

Barbara told me the story a few times about when she started attending the church that I and Debbie did.  Barb was 2 grades in front of us.  She said that when her friends started pointing out people and attaching names to them, they came to me and Debbie.  "That's Bill and Debbie", they told her following up with "They are inseparable."  That made me smile in later years when Barbara would relay that to me.  Everyone apparently thought that me and Debbie were destined for each other.  Almost everyone thought that.  There were a few exceptions.

Debbie's mother was a good woman.  She was honest.  Brutally honest at times.  I don't think her mother ever took a shine to me.  She put up with me for that year or so, but it wasn't more than just putting up with me.  Her mother watched the two of us continue to spend time together and kept a close eye on us ... on me in particular.  She was a smart lady and she knew that I was lazy with my school work.  Her thinking, in my mind, was set that whatever this was between and Debbie, it was not going to go much further.  She wanted the best for her eldest daughter and rightfully so.  At this point in time, I certainly was far from the best.

I did enjoy Debbie though during this time.  Whenever I would make a joke or anything of the sort it seemed like Debbie would laugh and call me "You silly goose..".  That became a term of endearment.  I was her silly goose.

Memories of my time with Debbie have faded over the years.  I do remember them being fun filled.  I remember a lot of laughing and not many disagreements at all.  Looking back on that special year or so now, I can see that it was nothing more than a very close friendship that I was lucky to have experienced.  It would be a bar to measure my closeness to people as I continued on in life.

Maybe my feelings started to get too strong towards Debbie as we began our sophomore year.  I think they probably did.  I also think her mother detected that fact and felt it was too soon for Debbie, or even me for that matter, to get involved with.  I kind of think Debbie felt it as well.  One thing that is for sure was that I didn't feel that way.  I do think my feelings for Debbie were getting stronger and hence the thinking I was "in love" with her.

Now I am not sure how everything happened that brought this friendship that was on the edge of possibly going over a line that we were too young to be involved with back to earth.  I do remember it was one evening when I was over at Debbie's house playing ping pong with her. After the game we sat on a little couch in her basement to talk.  I leaned over to kiss her and she put her hand up against my chest stopping me.  The she started "the talk".  I have got to say this for Debbie.  She had the kindest way of breaking up with a person than anyone I have ever seen or heard about.  She spoke of the past and the future.  She spoke of our ages and how much there was waiting for us in life to come before either of us got too involved.  She was gentle.  She was kind.  I left her house that night actually feeling good about her breaking up with me.

I have thought about the decision to break up many times.  I think her mother probably had a lot of input into it.  I am quite sure that Debbie had thought things out very well before acting upon her thoughts.  No matter how it happened or why, it was the best thing for both of us.

Debbie recently reconnected with me through social media after Barbara's passing.  She had been following my updates on Barbara through the surgery and what happened the week after the surgery when God called Barbara home.  I am not sure how long she had been following me or how she found out about Barbara.  I am glad she did though.

As I reconnected with her and looked at her Facebook page, I realized how good of a decision it was when we were teens to branch out from each other.  She became extremely successful as would be expected.  She married a handsome, intelligent friendly man and they were both very very happy.  She had beautiful children and I got to see pictures of her son's wedding and see pictures of her dancing with her son.  Looking at those pictures also revealed how much better she had aged than I have.

Meanwhile, Barb and I got married and began a journey through life together.  We spent 42 years together before her untimely passing.  I have written much about Barbara and our time together and so I won't repeat all of that here.  My readers know what kind of life the two of us had together.

In the end it doesn't really matter how Debbie and I parted.  Whether it was through influence from her mother or Debbie's own personal thoughts that brought us to that point.  The thing is that it was the best thing for the both of us.  What once seemed like the inevitable that we would be together became the inevitable that we would be apart, using our short time together as a small learning experience in the proper way a relationship should be.  I learned that it should be based on respect and love and all the things that get carried by those two things.  Debbie found that in her life as did I.

I will never forget Debbie.  I never forgot her during those many years that communication between us did not exist.  Turns out she was an important part of my life.  She was an important part of my education concerning life.  I like to think that hopefully, she learned a little from that time as well.  I think she did.

And so I would like to say ... thank you Debbie and might as well say thanks to Debbie's mother.  I believe everything worked out the way God planned.  Debbie ended up with a life that befits her and I did as well.

"That's Bill and Debbie ... they are inseparable..."  and Barbara rolled up her sleeves and said, "here, hold my coat."   and with that I smile large.

Thank you for your friendship Debbie.  You were special. You are special.  You will always be a part of my life that I am very grateful for.