ONE WAS MISSING

Last week marked a big day in my immediate family's existence.  My dad celebrated his ninetieth birthday.  It was a miracle that he reached this point in life.  It was indeed a day for celebration.

The celebration was to be held in the small town of Camden, Alabama where my folks now live as my sister cares for them in the most unselfish and loving way.  Many people came to share in the celebration, mostly family and loved ones.  My little brother traveled from South Dakota.  My uncle came down from St. Louis.  My Aunt (Dad's sister) and my cousins came in from Colorado and Kansas. Dad had grandchildren and great grand children as well as great great grandchildren arrive from north Alabama and as far away as the other side of Atlanta, Georgia.  My Aunt and Uncle came down from Muscle Shoals, my niece and my nephew as well as myself traveled from Kansas City, Missouri.

The celebration started Thursday night when my little brother and myself arrived, continued into Friday night with the main party being held on Saturday.  It was a time of joy and happiness as we gathered for this special day.  Cards and well wishes were sent from family and loved ones from Kansas, Missouri, South Caroline, and Georgia.

As family connections were reunited and the talk among the throng ranged from topics as diverse as to the miracle that we have been allowed to have our dad with us all these years, to baseball, to spirited discussions between Tigers and Jayhawks.  It was crowded.  It was noisy.  It was happy and joyous.  It was  a day that I, and those that were there, will never forget.

As I took some time on Saturday and listened to all the different conversations going on, as I watched my dad look in wonderment at all the people that showed up, my mind began to wander a bit.

I noticed that my dad had morphed through the years.  He is quite a man, someone to be admired and respected, that is for sure.  He has changed though.  His knees are not what they once were.  He needs a walker to navigate his way around.  His mind is not quite as sharp as it once was in his younger days.  He forgets things easily and tires easily after short periods of time.  He still watches baseball constantly, but often he can't remember who he is watching play or what the score is.  He is getting old and his age is showing.

I noticed all of the people who had come.  Pictures were being taken with phones.  Dad was in the role that he had never really been comfortable with, that being the center of attention.  He seemed to be enjoying it though and he smiled a lot when people would come up to talk to him.  I know it was a long weekend for him, but he soldiered through it and actually, I think he really enjoyed it.

Later, when I was on my way home and stopping over in Dyersburg, Tennessee, I sat and looked at the pictures that were popping up on the internet of my dad's celebration.  I saw pictures of everyone.  I saw pictures of families who don't gather all together very often.   I saw a picture of Dad and mom with my sister, little brother and myself.  I stopped on that picture and paused to study it.

Mom and dad looked aged but alert and smiling.  My sister and brother and myself looked very good although you could see the signs of aging in our faces.  Five people that formed a family that was started in 1950 when mom and dad got married.  It didn't look right though.

You see, our little family grew up as six, not five.  My eldest sister, Carol, passed away just a little over two years before this grand celebration.  Carol was not there and I felt her absence deeply.  We all felt her absence.  Everyone of us wished that she were there.  There seemed to be a hole where Carol should have been.

Yes, it was a great celebration.  It was a celebration that was warranted.  It was indeed a joyous, happy and wonderful celebration and everyone of us were very aware of how lucky our lives have been to have been blessed with the presence of my father through all these years and none of us would trade it for the world.

Still, through all of the joy, all of the happiness and laughter, one was missing.  I can say, and I think I speak for all the family, that she was greatly missed by every one of us on that day.  I couldn't help but hear this small voice in my head saying "You should have been there Carol ... you would have enjoyed it so very much and would have completed the picture."

I love you Carol.  I miss you.

Front row: Dad's sister Aunt Velma, Dad and Mom  Second row: my brother Bob, myself and my sister Elaine

My sister Carol with her grand-daughter Haylee