Like ENTRY NUMBER 498, I will not be posting this on Facebook so I can pretty much say whatever I want without offending anybody. More or less, as the mind speaks my fingers put down the words. I was pretty pleased with ENTRY NUMBER 498 so let's try it again.
My neighbor Sally turns 86 years old next month. She is a petite lady rising above the 5 foot mark by about 2 inches. Her mind is sharp. She has a friendly and helpful personality. You have to be careful though because she can also be a fiery lady as well. She and her husband, Bob, moved into the house across the street back in 1996, good neighbors the whole time. Bob passed away about 15 years ago and it seemed that Sally made the transition pretty good although it was difficult for her.
Sally is independent. She is strong and does not like to ask for help although she readily gives help when she sees a need. During the time when Barbara's health began to deteriorate, Sally, along with my other neighbor Charlene, kept a close eye on Barbara. Barbara was as much of an independent as Sally is. During the time when Barbara was still able to drive and able to accomplish things with difficulty, Sally was there. Barbara would come home from grocery shopping and start to carry a bag at a time to the front porch where she would then carry a bag at a time into the house. Sally would come over and talk Barbara into letting Sally carry the bags from the car to the porch so Barbara could carry them into the house. As Barbara's health worsened, the more help our neighbors gave. I am lucky to have the neighbors that I do have.
Sally, as I said, does not like to ask for help. She has begun to acknowledge that at her age, she does need help here and there but that doesn't mean she likes to ask for it. A couple of weeks ago I received a call from Sally asking me if I was busy. The light bulbs in Sally's garage door opener and her overhead light in the garage were burned out. Her garage door would not open. I went over and replaced the lights and Sally pressed the button to open the garage door. It would not open. After looking at her door I discovered it was locked. Somehow Sally had accidentally locked her garage door. I walked her to the door, explained what was wrong and showed her how to unlock the door if it should happen again. As she was walking me back through the house and thanking me, she slowly broke into tears. She expressed how she felt so alone and didn't know how to do things. I told her that her, Charlene and myself were there for each other. That's what friends and neighbors are for. We lean on each other.
What I want you to take from the telling of that event are four things. First, of course, is that Sally is very independent. Second is that she feels vulnerable as she gets older. Third is that the lady loves to drive her car. That is not a bad thing. Not yet anyway. She is sharp minded. She is a good driver and she knows her limitations while driving. For example she does not drive on the highways. She knows that her reflexes aren't what they use to be and so she stays on the side roads and never drives far from home. The last thing is that Sally like a routine. She does not like change or things that take her out of her comfort zone. She does not like surprises. This leads us to what happened last Friday.
Last Friday morning Sally had gone to the DOV to renew her drivers license. While she was there something happened that had never happened to her before. She failed the eye test.. The lady at the DOV gave her a piece of paper to give to her eye doctor when she went to get glasses. The paper was a sign of Sally getting older. It was a paper that the doctor would tell the state if Sally was fit to drive or not.
She showed up at my front door shortly after noon that day. She was anxious. A wrench had been thrown into her day to day machinery and she did not know exactly what to do. At the DOV they had given her the name of an eye doctor that is approved by the state who was located in Belton. To Sally, Belton might as well be a hundred miles away. She did not know the town. She wasn't sure how to get there and she certainly did not have a clue as to where the address of the eye doctor was located.
I did my best to calm her down and we talked about what had happened that morning. I would make sure that we got this taken care of. I had nothing else to do so I would drive her to Belton for the exam. We called the phone number and made an appointment for Monday afternoon. After telling her not to worry and giving her a pat on the back, she headed home.
Saturday morning Sally called me again to make sure I hadn't forgotten about Monday's eye exam. Her anxiety was building and I think she was a little scared that she would not be able to drive anymore. The way I figured it, she was driving around the neighborhood without any problems so the adjustment to her eyes would be minimal. That seemed to calm her down a bit for the time being. I would not hear from her until Monday.
I had told Sally we would leave around three on Monday and so a little before three I stepped out of my house to find Sally walking up my driveway. I smiled at her and she told me to let's get this over with and off we went. It was a long appointment. Sally is a talker and loves to tell stories to people. I imagine there was a lot of story telling going on during her exam. She came out of the exam with the paper the doctor had signed telling the state that her eyesight, with corrections, would allow her to drive safely. She picked out some frames and we headed home with a much relieved Sally.
She insisted on buying me an early dinner on the way home so we stopped at Freddie's and got some pattie melts and fries before heading back home. Sally was happy. Today she mailed the paper to the state and now all she has to do is wait for her new glasses before heading back to the DOV for her license and her day to day routine returning to normal.
Having good neighbors is important. I am saying that from my perspective. Me having good neighbors is important and I have two great neighbors, Charlene and Sally. The three of us are single and live alone. Sally losing her husband several years ago, Me losing Barb in 2018 and Charlene just lost her husband last July weekend. We are the same the three of us and each of us need help from time to time. I put a couch and a chair in the dumpster Charlene had rented last fall and Sally put a microwave and some boxes in the dumpster I rented a few weeks ago. The theme between the three of us is that we are all in this together and we watch out for each other.
Good neighbors are hard to find. I am extremely lucky. You get a good neighbor, help them. It is indeed a rarity to have such fine ones.
It is 10:30 pm tonight. It has been overcast but a nice temperature most of the day. When I went to the store to pick up my prescriptions, a lady who was walking just in front of me into the store informed that it was a nice day but we would pay for it with storms tonight. I did not ask for her weather forecast, she just offered it to me. It is nice to have people feel relaxed enough in this day and age to talk to strangers like that. It felt good. She was right though. Thunder, lightning and rain have arrived in Kansas City.
I like the rain. I like the sound and the smell of it. The only problem with rain, especially when accompanied with thunder and lightning is getting Dutch outside to do his business. He doesn't mind the rain but the lights and the sounds make him rather skittish. Tonight he will more than likely sleep close to my bed during the night as if I could protect him from it.
This rain is also a good thing for my dogwood tree. It was one of my gifts from Dit-MCO on the occasion of my retirement. They gave it to me as kind of a replacement for Barbara not being able to be there. It was a thoughtful gesture and one that I very much appreciated.
Life is marching on. I was thinking about that this morning as I sat quietly by myself eating oatmeal for breakfast. Life does not stop and soon I will be a memory just as Barbara, all my grandparents, my sister, my dad and all those aunts and uncles as well as many friends have become. Just a memory that will fade to obscurity as the generations come and go.
Going to school for the first time. Playing baseball, then football and finally basketball and making the school team. That first kiss from Valerie, who is now herself but a memory. Time with Debbie and meeting Barbara then marrying her. Working for dad and finding my place in the labor force. Meeting Ronnie for the first time and all the fun we had discovering music together to spending time with Larry and all the evening in the church parking lot playing basketball. Seeing Brett for the first time and bringing home as my son followed by raising him on Beatles tunes. Watching Barbara leave this world and telling people at my fathers memorial service in Alabama about my dad.
Memories. We hold onto them as much as we can. We lose a lot of those memories over the years due to time or age. My dad was starting to lose his memory when Barbara died. Barbara adored my dad and I think dad kind of like her as well. To be honest dad "kind of liked" me too. That was dad's answer all the time.
Me: Love you dad
Dad: yeah well I kind of like you too
It brings an unusual smile to my face these days. I don't smile much anymore. I am thinking that maybe I am forgetting how to smile. What about a laugh? Almost unheard of coming from me. My sense of humor is fading like the memories. I look at this world, in these times we find ourselves and I don't think there is much to laugh about. As Americans we are divided and there is almost a hatred among the people of my country. I remember studying and observing the fight to desegregate our country and it feels like just as we are right there. I look around and see that re-segregation is on the rise and moving fast. The strange thing is that the very people who fought so hard to integregate the country are leading it back into segregation. It saddens me.
I do not understand America anymore. Hell, I don't think I even understand human beings anymore. Everything seems to be upside down and sideways inside out.
I want simplicity to make a comeback. I want critical thinking to become a thing again. I want the Constitution of the United States to stand for something. I want to see a return to true ... TRUE ... freedom of speech in this country. Without that, this country means nothing. That is what makes The United States so special. The right to a free and open exchange of ideas. We do not have that anymore. The public square has been dismantled.
I think, at the moment I am typing this, that I am kind of glad I won't be around to see the path this country is headed down and where it ends up. I truly believe that this country, this Democratic Republic that has proven itself, in my mind, is the greatest country in modern history.
My heart is truly saddened by what I have seen happening to it.
Enough for ENTRY NUMBER 499 in this blog.
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