I was raised in a Southern Baptist home. No doubt my readers are split between "Oh my..." and "Of course you were" and everything in between. It is a fact though and the church had a large influence on the person that I am today.
While I was taken to church from birth, the first church I remember attending was Ruskin Heights Baptist Church in the southern part of Kansas City, Missouri. The church started as a Mission Annex planted and supported by Swope Park Baptist Church. Initially it was a little 2 room wooden structure set up on, I am guessing, about 1/2 acre of land or so. When my memory of the church comes to light they had built a three story brick building with a sanctuary not quite as big as the original Annex. The original little Annex was still in use and had an addition built on it to double it's size. When the brick building was built, they used the annex for Sunday School classes, Boy Scouts, and eventually a building for the Youth group in the church. The annex sat a ways away from the main church building with a little sidewalk connecting the two buildings.
It was in this church where I met some of the most influential people in my early life. My first pastor in my memory was Dr. Loren S. Goings. This man was so special to me. It was under his ministry that I accepted Christ and became a Christian. I was very young, somewhere in the range of 8 to 10 years old. He came to the house to talk to my parents and me to be sure I understood what it meant to take this step. Dr. Goings baptized me there.
I learned a lot in that church from the leadership and the people who led me. My family was at the church whenever the doors were open. I think I truly began to grow in my understanding as I entered my teenage years. Under the tutelage of Harry Owen, Ray Jones, Dudley Barker, Diane Reynolds, Noel and Alice Shepard, and Bill and Mary Ann McConnico I grew in what I understood as right or wrong and what was expected of me as a Christian and a member of the church.
I served on the Youth Council a couple of years and was head of the Youth Council my senior year. The majority of my friends attended the church with me. Now I am not saying I was an angel during my time there, far from it. I caused a lot of trouble and headaches for the adults of the church. I remember one Wednesday night coming into the church for services after playing some basketball in the parking lot, I came through the sanctuary casually dribbling my basketball. I was dutifully informed that to do that was disrespectful and I should never do that. It was reported to my parents and I never dribbled a basketball in the sanctuary again. Little lessons like that were taught me on what seemed a weekly basis from the adults at the church.
Dr. Goings eventually retired and Dr. J.L. Wilson became my pastor. He was a great man as well and had a great impact on my life. I dated his daughter Debbie for awhile which was a good learning experience as well. I learned a lot from that time with Debbie and her family and it turned out to be an important step in getting me ready for my future.
While I was there another couple joined the staff of the church. Jerry Olthoff became our minister of music there and he brought his wife Nancy with him. Soon after that Nancy's little sister Barbara began attending the church. Eventually Barbara and I would start dating and be married by Dr. Wilson in that church in 1975.
Barbara and I continued to attend Ruskin Heights after we were married. During a short period of time though things changed. My uncle, Dr.Melvin Hill, became pastor at First Baptist Church of Grandview. Shortly after that, Dr. Wilson left Ruskin Heights to continue his ministry elsewhere. I hated to see Dr. Wilson leave but as it turned out, it opened a new phase in my life. Barbara and I were not sure about who would be brought in to replace Dr. Wilson but we knew what kind of a man and pastor Dr. Hill was at Grandview. Barbara wanted to start attending there to see if it was a good fit, but I had serious reservations about having my uncle as my pastor. We invited Dr. Hill to the house to discuss my concerns and he more than set my mind at ease. We began attending Grandview and eventually joined the church family there. We left Ruskin Heights without any complaints or misgivings about that church. We simply felt comfortable with Dr. Hill as a pastor and we felt quite at home with the people at Grandview.
Our time at First Baptist Grandview began what I consider my coming into adulthood as a Christian and a member of the church. It was just a few years after we joined that Dr. Hill left for another position in the SBC. The pastor that replaced my uncle also had a doctorate and was a good pastor. He preached the gospel. All seemed well.
Barbara and I began to get more involved in the church as adults. Barbara started her children's choir, we taught second graders Sunday School, and we began to make new friendships with the people there. A new set of influences from people began to help me continue as a grew more involved. Barbara became the leader of the Baptist Young Women's Union, something my grandmother Hill would have been proud of. As we began to be better known we found ourselves on committees in the church from time to time. I was part of a group of men to plan out Baptist Men's Day at the church one year and I suggested a special speaker to give the message that Sunday. That year, on Baptist Men's Day on Sunday morning, I nervously stood in front of the church and introduced that man who had baptized me so many years before, Dr. Loren S. Goings as our speaker for the day. It was a special moment for me.
Then the day came that would bring my maturity in the church to another level. I was approached about becoming a deacon in the church. I felt honored. I felt humbled. I was not sure if I was prepared for this step. I took awhile. I prayed a lot. I thought a lot. I talked to Barbara about it. I took it very seriously. I had watched my father carry out his duties as a deacon. I attended a few deacon meetings with him on youth weeks in years past. My father was my example of what a leader in the church should be. He was a good example. I came to the conclusion that I was ready for this. That I was being led to this. That I could contribute in this role in the church. I accepted to be vetted, tested accepted and if I made it through those steps, be ordained. I did not take it lightly.
This would be a situation I had never seen before or since. For some reason there were not enough men in the church that were either nominated, or accepted the nomination to fill the positions required. When the vote for deacon that year was completed, there would be ten new deacons to be ordained in one service. I was astounded. This church could not get enough men to step into this role that ten new men would be required to be ordained. That is almost half the deacon board would be freshly ordained with no previous experience. Looking back on it now, I feel like I should have stepped aside along with a few more of the ten. The church could go with a smaller deacon board if need be. New deacons need to learn, to be led into this role of leadership in the church. I didn't step aside though. It did not cross my mind at the time. So one Sunday, the ten of us were questioned, voted on and in the evening service that night, ordained as deacons to the church.
It got more disturbing a little later. Once the new deacon board was installed, a new Chairman of the Deacons had to be installed. Somehow how I was on that little committee to nominate a new chairman. I sat down with three older deacons who I had a lot respect for and we began discussing who would be a good choice. Names were offered up, calls were named, and declines for the position were given. It got to the point where the three older deacons with me in this quest offered each other the position and all declined. Then they looked at me. Would I consider? I did not hesitate. I did not feel qualified. I had just been ordained. This was an important leadership role in the church and should be taken by a well placed deacon with experience. Then they decided to try asking some of the new deacons if they would. One of them accepted, and the entire deacon board voted in this newly ordained deacon as chairman. I should have been able to read what this meant at the time.
And so I began my first true leadership role in the church. I took it seriously as all the deacons did. I did what was required and at times did more. I feel I have a clear mind that I did my best. But problems were beginning to become clear to me.
I began to notice during my first term as a deacon but it solidified during my second term. Our pastor was a good pastor. He was not a good leader though. Members of the church were becoming disillusioned with things going on in the church. Two staff members were fired during my time as a deacon. One without any cause that I could see and the other with suspicious situations.
I began to see the politics that are played out in the church. I am not sure if it is normal for a church but I would like to think not. The politics playing out at Grandview were becoming a serious problem. Some members of the church were feeling disrespected, and rightly so. When there were situations that required discussion and discernment, if you did not agree with what was expected, you might be treated as less than a member. Personally, I feel like it is the job of the pastor to lead through these situations and the pastor at the time was not a leader.
I began to speak out in meetings saying what I thought was right. I was on the losing end most of the time but I tried to do what I felt was right. It was getting frustrating. Then the frustration became disillusionment, and from there helplessness and disappointment. Before long Barbara and I were discussing whether we could stay at this church or not.
Then it happened. A situation arose where a person had joined the church the old fashioned way. They come forward, ask to join, the preacher says all in favor, everyone raises their hand and the person is a member. There was a problem though. It is complicated and I won't go into detail here. The church had decided that maybe they were a little hasty in allowing this person in as a member and so the rumors started and gossiping began and on and on .....
It came down to a Wednesday business meeting to vote on whether to revoke their membership or not. It went way beyond that. I have seen people in the church be ugly to each other before, I have seen arguments in the church, but on this night, it was way beyond what a christian discipline should be. A certain, very vocal group of the church membership became, in my opinion, very unchristian like. It reminded me of a scene of a village mob fixing to go up to Dr. Frankenstein's castle to burn it to the grown. and that is not an exaggeration. They were set to put people at the doors to keep this person from entering the church. They would bar the doors before letting the person attend service. It got uglier and uglier. I got more irritated and disgusted the longer it went.
Finally I grabbed Barbara by the hand and we walked out. We talked that night about the situation at the church. It was totally out of control with no leadership that I could see. We talked and we decided. Our decision was based on one very important thing to us. We agreed that nobody, absolutely nobody should be blocked from entering a church. I don't care if you agree with their life style, their philosophy, or whatever. We do not know what kind of situations people may be dealing with that they could use help with. There is no reason why anybody should ever be disallowed in the church. To me it is not right. My mind has never wavered on that. Bottom line is that we are all sinners, and the church is there for us sinners. It is not for us to make a judgement on the sins of others as others should not make a judgement on mine. It is between me and God. The church is a body of humans who are flawed and who can help each other navigate through this world by trying to learn and follow God's word as much as possible. The doors to a house of God is open to all. Period. When we left First Baptist Grandview, I made the decision that I would not serve in a leadership role of any kind in a church again. To me it simply was not worth it.
We would not step foot in that church again except for one more time. Years later one of Barbara's choir kids, Isaac, was getting married in the church and we went to the wedding. Isaac was more important to the both of us than what happened years ago. Other than that, I never darkened it's doors.
After we left Grandview, we started going to a little church also in Grandview that one of Barbara's choir kids was the pastor of. Keith Gibson is a good man. A good pastor. It is a good church. Barbara started a children's choir again and we attended regular. The church moved a little further south to Belton and we followed it there. It was during this time that Barbara's health began to slip badly. We continued to go to Keith's church until Barbara simply could not go. It was difficult for her to get out and it was impossible for her to sit in a pew for any length of time at all. During the time between Barbara not being able to go up until her death, Keith's church had moved even further south to Peculiar, Missouri. I went a few times but to be honest, it was not only a long ways to go, but I didn't feel much like getting out at all after Barbara died. Going to work was tough enough for me.
A year or so after we lost Barbara, I reacquainted myself with an old friend who has also been widowed. We decided to find a church together as a support for each other. My oh my we looked for a church. I had no idea how many churches are out there that are not a church in a biblical sense at all. We finally found a church that was fairly good. The plus to this church was it was only a block or so away from a Crackerbarrel Restaurant. So breakfast followed by church. It seemed like a good deal.
The longer I went there the more uncomfortable I felt. It seemed to be closely tied to Calvary Bible College in Belton and the "sermons" felt more like a classroom lecture. The Gospel was not regularly preached. The Salvation message was seldom preached. It was a good group of people, but if someone came off the street looking for that "something" they would not find it there. I began to get more and more disillusioned.
I decided possibly another church change was needed. I tried a church in Grandview but try as I may, it just didn't feel like a good fit for me. There were just things that they did do and things that they did not do that just made me feel like I was meant to be elsewhere.
It was at this time, just a few weeks ago that First Baptist Church of Grandview started creeping into my mind. It had been a long time ago since that ugly business meeting. There had been a few pastors since that time. Most of the people that had offended my sensibilities so much were either no longer with us or had moved on to other churches. I looked up the church on their website and started reading it. They have a younger pastor but not REAL young, I mean he is old enough to have a doctorate and has been there for several years. I listened to some of his sermons online.It seemed like it was the church I had left all those years ago.
So, I went one Sunday morning. I was pleased to find a couple of our old friends there and we talked. The pastor is a good man who preaches the Gospel as I was raised on. Trish and Scott took me up to meet the pastor after the service and I felt very good about him.
Last week I went to a Sunday School class he was teaching and noticed how well he interacted with his parishioners. I listened to him speak and teach the Bible and it is sound doctrine as I understand it to be.
I feel like First Baptist Grandview was my home church once upon a time.
I haven't made up my mind completely yet, but I think it might be my home church once again. I feel good about it. It is a comfortable fit.
