CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS

 Whenever I think of traditions, my mind goes to Topal singing "Tradition" in the film "Fiddler On The Roof".  When Topal sings that magical song you can truly feel the importance of traditions in life.  We all have traditions of one kind or another.  Christmas traditions though are some of the best kept traditions as each family creates their own in order to celebrate the season.

As I was growing up, our family had some very specific traditions that my parents followed in order to while making Christmas a magical time for us kids, also held our Christian beliefs were emphasized so that we remember why we are celebrating this special day.

It started by going out to buy a Christmas tree at a local lot.  Artificial trees were never under consideration.  The tree never went up immediately after Thanksgiving but rather somewhere between two and three weeks before Christmas.  Dad made our Christmas tree stand using his welding skills to create what had to be the heaviest and sturdiest stand in all of Kansas City.  One thing was for sure.  Once dad had put that tree in the stand and had it clamped, standing straight and tall, the tree was not going anywhere.  Once the tree was up, it was up to dad to untangle the strings of lights and check out the bulbs for those who had burnt out somehow over the year while in storage in the garage.  This was not an easy task.  It seemed that no matter how careful dad had put the strings of lights away the previous year, the entanglement that he found the lights in was excruciating.  Dad would spend an hour or so getting the wires loose from each other.  Then came the task of replacing the bulbs.  Now these were big glass incandescent bulbs and if one burned out, then the who string would go dark.  In order to find the offending bulb, you had to replace bulbs one at a time with a known good bulb until suddenly as dad screwed in a bulb, the whole string lit up in a colorful display that lit the whole living room.  Putting the lights on the tree had a certain process.  Dad would instruct me to go stand at the top of the stairs while he placed the strings on the limbs of the tree.  When he got to the back of the tree, he would hand me the string of lights to pull around the back of the tree and hand back to him on the front of the tree slowly wrapping the tree in lights from top to bottom.

While dad was doing all of this, mom and my siblings were busy popping popcorn and running a needle and thread through the kernels to create strings of pop corn, which would be handed off to dad to wrap the tree in the same way he had done the lights.  Many injuries were inflicted upon those trying to push a needle through a popcorn kernel.  The fingers would heal before Christmas though and would be forgotten.  Foil "icicles" we placed on the tree ... one string of foil at a time.  One .... at  ... a ... time .... Mom oversaw the placing of these little strips of foil to be sure that none of us cheated by putting more than one ... at ... a .... time.... on the tree. (sigh)

Then the family ornaments came out.  They were the same ones every year and each holds specific images.  One set of decorations were plastic balls with "Angle Hair" stuffed inside.  The angle hair was very fine strands of fiberglass that, we were warned, would cut your fingers open if not handled carefully.  Fun time.  The ornaments could attack you while decorating the tree.  Included in the ornaments were ones that each of us had made at school, at church or at home.  Each of us hung our own ornaments on the tree as it slowly became the magical looking tree that would stand through New Years Day.

Christmas Eve at the Clark house was not only full of excitement, but also full of reverence for the holiday.  Mom always laid a bible next to our little Nativity Scene that we had set up.  It was always open to Luke Chapter 2.  This is the chapter that tells the story of the birth of Christ and the visitation of Angels to shepherds in their fields to bring them the Good News.  On Christmas Eve, before we went off to bed, the family would sit and listen as my mother read the Scripture from the book of Luke.  It was followed by a prayer and sometimes a discussion about what had been read.  We went to bed with that story in our heads and the true meaning of the holiday was remembered by the whole family.

Christmas morning at the Clark household was torture.  We kids could not leave our room until mom and dad awoke and gave us the go ahead to go downstairs to see what was under the tree.  I don't think we ever found out what would happen if we had left our rooms before getting the ok from dad.  There was too much at stake to take that chance.

When mom and dad finally came out of their sleep we would WALK, not run, down the stairs and Christmas began.  After seeing what Santa had left us, one of us would be assigned to hand out the presents under the tree.  Before we could play with anything though, wrapping paper had to be cleaned up and the house had to be in order.

While we were picking up paper and beginning to play with our toys, mom was in the kitchen baking apple and cherry turnovers.  That was a tradition that took place every year.  As for myself, I would be in the living room munching on my mom's pecan tassies and was pretty full by the time the turnovers were ready to eat.  All too soon, we had to stop everything and get dressed to visit the grandparents.

We usually visited my Aunt Fay and Grandma Clark in the afternoon.  The Clark family and the Hill family were very different.  At my grandma Clarks, sometimes we ate, most times we didn't.  We would especially enjoy it of my Aunt and Uncle from Colorado were visiting.  Sometimes the Clark Christmas dinner was held at my Aunt Norva's place which was bigger and could handle the size of the gathering.  I really don't remember any traditions at my grandma Clarks.  It was usually a low keyed affair with the adults talking among each other and the kids trying to keep entertained.  To be honest, it always seemed to me that the biggest holiday for the Clarks was Memorial Day.  Definitely some big traditions for that day in the family.

In the evening it was off to my Grandma and Grandpa Hill's place.  I think what made the difference between the Clark Christmas and the Hill Christmas was my Grandfather's love for the holiday.  He absolutely LOVED Christmas and it was filled with family traditions.  From my grandma's candied figs to the eggnog set out on the buffet.  There were two punch bowls of eggnog set out.  On one end was the eggnog for the kids, the other end was "adult" eggnog.  Took me a long time to figure out what the difference was between the two.

Let's take a half step back concerning my grandfather.  One of the traditions he did was to entertain any of the grandchildren when they happened to visit on the few days before Christmas by reciting "A Visit From St. Nicholas" otherwise known as "The Night Before Christmas"  It was one of his biggest joys in life.  I remember several times being over there because we would go down to the Frisco to pick Grandpa up after work.  After Grandpa had cleaned up, we would sit on the floor as he told the story, his eyes sparkling through the entire poem which ha knew by heart and told it as a true story teller.  IT was magic.  In 1982 my sister came up for Christmas and we took Brett, Bo and Kim over to visit my grandfather on Christmas Eve.  As Brett sat on Grandpa's lap and Bo and Kim sat on the floor listening to the old man tell the tale, my mind was carried away to a time when I sat where Bo and Kim were, hearing him tell the story with as much fun and love as he was doing that day.  It was another tradition that the old man created more for himself, I think, than for the grandkids.

Christmas night at the Hill's was about the same every year but special in it's own way.  There was a Christmas goose on one end of the table and a turkey on the other.  Creamed potatoes, oysters, home made cranberries among many other dishes that were presented every year.  The dinner would be followed by "discussions" about politics or college football or the Chiefs.  Sometimes these discussions got rather loud.  I remember Grandma leaving the turkey out and while the discussion was going on, my Uncle Melvin would be picking at the turkey eating the whole time while my Uncle Buster would constantly have a plate full of pie.  Like Buster would have four or five slices of different pies which he ate at one time.  Pumpkin, Cherry, Apple, Pecan, Mincemeat .. it didn't matter.  If it was pie, Buster would have a slice on his plate.

Slowly things would start to quiet down and the families would begin to head back to their homes.  When we got home Christmas night, we were too tired to play with any games or toys.  Christmas had been celebrated for another year and families had come together on both my father's and my mother's side and it was good.  It seemed to be over all too early.

When I got married and began my life on my own, I found Barb and myself slowly developing our own traditions.  That is the thing about traditions I guess.  You can not plan out traditions, but rather the traditions kind of create themselves as you go through the years and find yourself doing the same things from year to year.  My little family traditions started as a combination of Barb's traditions merging with my traditions that we brought together.  Apple and Cherry turnovers on Christmas morning were replaced by cinnamon rolls and coffee cake.  Instead of Brett waiting patiently for his parents to be roused from their sleep, Barb and I found ourselves waiting patiently for Brett to awaken.  Sometimes Barb had to stop me from going into his room to wake him up.  We bought one Christmas album every Christmas so we always had new music to listen to.  Slowly we developed our own collection of family ornaments that became a part of  Christmas. Barb brought the tradition of little toys being placed in the Christmas stockings which was totally foreign to me. My Christmas stocking was always fruit and nuts. 

Now, at this point in my life, it seems all the traditions have died.  Mom and dad moved to Alabama.  Brett is off on his own and I am never quite sure when he will make his way over to my house.  Barbara has passed and with her, it seems the joy of Christmas left with her.  I do listen to Christmas music on quiet nights when it is only the dog and me.  I listen to the songs my father loved and the songs that Barbara loved.  My last three Christmas' have been quiet and tame.  No Christmas tree has been put up and decorated.  I have no need for it.  It was Barb's Christmas tree.  I set it up for her and she and Brett decorated it.  Gone is the excitement that Christmas morning use to bring.

But you know, I do enjoy Christmas.  It is different than it use to be for sure, but it has become a time of reflection for me.  I think back on my life and how blessed I have been.  I can sit back and see my grandfather in my mind holding my son on his lap as he told his Christmas Story of St Nick.  I can see my mother in the kitchen getting those turnovers ready to eat.  I can look back at all the times that I sat and watched Brett and Barb go through the ornaments one by one.  I can open my Bible to Luke, Chapter 2 and as I read the story of the first Christmas, hear my mothers voice reading  it.

No Christmas is not what it use to be.  It has morphed along with the years and the events in my life into something totally different.  But it is still magic.  It is still good.  It is still a special day and most important, it is still a celebration of the greatest Gift that God has given to mankind.

That is how I celebrate now at this point in my life. I guess it is a tradition in it's own way.

Have a Merry Christmas.  Have hope for a good New Year.

THE HUMAN CONDITION-CHEATING

I know what you are all thinking.  "Oh no, another argument about the cheating in the 2020 election."  Honestly the election is not what brought this idea to my mind.  I might touch on the election later on because I do have a lot of questions about voting irregularities in certain parts of the country but I am prepared to believe that this country has a strong enough Constitution to continue on.

This is what started my mind thinking about cheating and how widespread it is in our everyday lives.  It was a short documentary I saw on YouTube about the 1973 Soap Box Derby in Akron, Ohio.  The Soap Box Derby began in 1935.  The Derby gives children across the country a chance to compete in a home made racing car the runs on the power of gravity.  It is a chance for child to be exposed to engineering with the use of mathematics and physics to build the fastest car to get down a hill.  Every year the National Derby is held in Akron with winners from cities across the country competing for the title of champion.

The Derby is one of those sports that as the years went by was considered to be true competition based in fairness and good sportsmanship.  As the years have progressed the rules have grown to make sure that all the cars and drivers are playing on a level playing field.  The car was to built by the driver and adult worse prohibited from building the car.  Adults could be advisors to the creation of the car, but the work was to be done by the kids.  It was always considered one of the most innocent of competitions that existed.  The Soap Box Derby stood for honesty, fairness, and basically scandal free.  At least it did until that summer day in 1973.

Jimmy Gronen won the Boulder, Colorado Derby that year.  He was 14 years old and had a very efficient car.  His cousin, Bobby Lange, had won the national championship in 1972 and now it was Jimmy's turn.  As the national Derby started and continued, no of the other cars came close to beating the car from Colorado.  Jimmy won the Derby and received the trophy, US Savings bonds and the fame of being the Champion.

It seemed unusual that one car would be so far advanced past the average Soap Box Derby car.  An investigation was begun and the results of that investigation would almost make the Derby shut down.  The investigation of the car found that Jimmy's car had an electromagnet in the nose of the car.  Under the foam of the headrest in the car was a small push button switch.  The switch was connected to a battery hidden in the back of the car.  When Jimmy got in the car, his head would depress the switch, closing the circuit from the battery to the magnet in the nose creating a magnetic field strong enough to attract the car to the metal flap on the starting ramp so that when the flap fell forward to let the car start to roll down the hill, the flap would actually pull Jimmy's car down the ramp giving him quite an advantage from the start.

As it turned out, Jimmy's uncle did quite a bit of the creation of the car.  Jimmy's uncle, Robert Lange was charged with aiding to the delinquency of a minor among other minor things.  Jimmy was stripped of his title and the Derby barely survived.  Now the cars are built from purchased kits that cannot be altered in anyway.  The rules are almost so tight that any imagination that a kid may have for a car is squashed.  The race is hardly reported on anymore.  I had to google to find out if it was still an event in Kansas City.  Turns out it is although it became a victim of CoVID-19 this past summer.

After watching this documentary I started thinking about cheating.  Is our competitive so strong that even a 14 year old would agree with the suggestion of his uncle to cheat other kids out of a trophy?  The answer apparently is, yes.  We cheat at almost anything we can think of or feel we can get away with.

The first thing that entered my mind was Major League Baseball.  The all American sport.  The sport that fills ball fields across the country with people of almost any age.  I love baseball.  I was raised on baseball.  I spent whole summers playing baseball and going to games at Municipal Stadium everytime the A's or The Royals were in town.  My childhood heroes were baseball players. just as they were for my dad.  I do not remember any ball players being caught cheating in baseball, but I could be wrong.  But look at baseball closely.  How many times have we seen a bat break when making contact with the pitch and suddenly there is cork out on the grass in front of home plate and the remains of the bat reveal a drilled out core where the cork had once resided.  The cork is said to lighten the bat and give the wood of the bat a little more flexible to spring the baseball away at a faster rate than solid wood.

I have seen umpires called out to the mound to check a pitcher's hat, his fingers, his pockets and his glove to look for foreign substances that help put a different spin on the ball and makes the pitch go in all different directions and speeds.  I have seen pitchers kicked out of games for this.

Then we entered the enhancement drug scandals.  Suddenly some players bodies were bulking up to be almost cartoon looking.  Homerun records fell at an incredible rate.  Suddenly the record set by Roger Maris in 1961 of 61 homers was being surpassed easily by these bulked up athletes.  It had taken Roger Maris almost 30 years and hitting behind Mickey Mantle in the lineup to break Babe Ruth's record and now 40 years after Maris set that record, it seemed like the record was virtually up for grabs.  It came down to one season when two players, Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa easily passed the record and began race to the end of the season on which one would end up with the most dingers.  It seems like the MLB has finally gotten some control over the performance enhancing drugs with the last noticeable player whose reputation was in question was Barry Bonds.  We no longer see these monster bodies that show up over the off season out of nowhere.   The thing is though, how do we measure the greatest players of all time now?  We can not be sure of any record set with a bat is legitimate. 

The latest cheating scandal to rock MLB is the Houston Astros sign stealing that propelled them to a World Series championship.

It isn't just baseball of course.  Boxing has always been under the microscope of cheating.  Whether it be adding a substance inside the gloves ot downright throwing the fight and losing intentionally.

Probably the worst scenario of cheating to most people would be horse racing.  The things that some trainers or owners have done to these horses for a win is despicable.  Horses can be permanently injured or damaged from some of these practices.  

Cheating of course spreads far from the sports world onto almost every part of society and life.  It penetrates the stock market  making some a little richer while doing who knows how much damage to companies or the economy.  Cheating on school tests, from middle school to college is surely taking place on an ongoing basis.  

I have seen videos documenting where Chess Masters playing in tournaments on the world stage have been caught or accused of cheating.  Technology today allows them to have access to computer engines advising them of the best move to make.  It kind of makes Spasky and Fischer a little more impressive when watching their matches from the 70's.

Of course world wide, countries cheat on their agreements that are carefully negotiated to maintain an advantage from an economic or military stance. 

Religious leaders are constantly being caught cheating, either with finances or just pure lying to get ahead.  This has been going on since the idea of religion was conceived thousands of years ago.

Have I cheated?  Oh yes, I can remember a few times when I did and in a not very good way.  But I can also recall times when I chose not to cheat when I could have.  I think that is where all of stand for the most part.  We cheat.  But not on a consistent basis.  Cheating for the vast majority of us is not part of our life style.  Most of the time we cheat thinking it isn't REALLY cheating, it is just finding a little advantage to get ahead in our endeavors.  Sometimes cheating feels like it is a necessity, a means to an end. An end that we think is not only desirable, but critical to achieve.

What bothered me about the 1973 Soap Box Derby was the idea of adults telling kids it is okay to cheat in an event that has a reputation of fairness and gamesmanship. The result is that the Derby was forced to take away the creativity of kids as they participate.

Survival of the fittest.  I feel like that is what it comes down to.

Being human is not always pretty.  The only thing we can do as individuals is to take a look at ourselves and find those things that are not so pretty and take steps to fix it.  We must continue to try to make improvements in ourselves and maybe, just maybe we can set an example for future generations that lessen some of these faults that we all have.

JUST A LITTLE CHIT-CHAT

I just noticed that I have not written or posted since July 6th earlier this year.  That is too long of a period between posts.  So let's see what we can come up with.

Today is Tuesday.  Election Day in the United States.  Yeah .... not going to write about that.  I am not going to write about politics at all. You all probably pretty much know what my thoughts are ... at least most of you.  There are those that think they know where my stance is when it becomes apparent that they do not have a clue.  

This whole year has been marred by the CV-19 virus.  No sense in talking about that either.  Lifestyles for all of us have been completely turned upside down.  The thing about this virus thing is that it has been tied to politics and the election and so everyone is up in arms against each other across the board.  Nah, not going to write about that either.

Major League Baseball was different this year.  To me it was a little disappointing.  Because of the virus restrictions, the Majors only played a 60 game season.  They went ahead with the playoffs and had a World Series.  I decided that for me, this was not a legitimate World Series and should not go into the record books.  My basis was that a mere 60 games is not nearly enough games for the cream to rise to the top.  You need at least 162 games for the best teams to prove their worth over time.  However, I was glad they did play this so called World Series because of the last 30 seconds of game 4.  That little amount of time made the whole thing worthwhile.  I encourage you to check out the 9nth inning of game 4.  Definitely worth your time.  But baseball was redefined by the virus and I don't want to write about the virus ... so I am not going to write about baseball.

Actually when you stop to think about it, just about every part of life was touched by either the virus or politics.  Perhaps that is why I haven't written in so long.

I was planning on traveling to Alabama in March to visit my mother and family members but thanks to the virus, It was delayed.  Mom was in lock down at her living facility so there was not much point in going.  I did finally make it to Alabama in mid-October though.  My little brother and his wife, myself and my mother and sister and her husband celebrated mom's 90th birthday a month and a half early.  Mom was able to escape from her facility to spend a week at my sisters.  It was a good visit.  It wasn't a perfect visit though.  I fell off my sister's front porch one night while staring up at the wonderment of the stars and tore up my knee and my ribs.  Those of you who have been following this blog know that I do not have a very high pain threshold and this hurt.  Then there was the hurricane that blew through putting my return to Kansas City off by a day so I wouldn't be driving through it.  Other than those two things, it was a very good week.  I am happy to report that my mother is in very good health and we were able to avoid any political talk.

I don't want this to be a wrap up of the year and it feels like it is turning into that.  I want to save that for December.

Social media ... well, I have been limiting my time on Facebook and stuff because, quite frankly, there is too much hatred flying around the election.  One of my dear friends accused me of being a troll and told me to go somewhere else to do my trolling.  I do not troll.  I asked a question concerning a post by said friend that I did not have the answer to.  Apparently it offended my friend so I was labeled a troll.  I don't play games like that.  If I ask a question, it is a sincere one.  Then there is all of the ignorance people seem to be showing .... nope, not going to go there.  I just have been staying off my computer and the internet a lot.  I don't need all of the arguments and stuff in my life right now and I certainly do not need to be called names or labeled as something I am not.  When I do get on the internet, it is to get news of those that I care about.  How they are doing.  Seeing pictures of my nieces and nephews so I can enjoy them since I can't see them.  I have reconnected with old friends, a couple who are very special in my life as I was growing up.  It has been a good experience.

I can say this about the year so far.  I still miss a lot of people who influenced my life and have passed on.  That will never change.  I still take my grandpa with me everywhere I go in the form of one of his bandanas in my rear pocket of my jeans.  I have been carrying one ever since he died.  On my way to bed each night, one of the last things I do is kiss my fingers and then touch them to a picture of Barbara that I moved out into the living area of the house.  I don't say anything or stop and look at her picture, just give her a tiny kiss each night ... well most nights... at least once a week or so  Last week marked 2 years since my dad passed away in that horrible year of 2018.  I brought out some more of my Uncle Dan's works of art to display and think of him often when I see the results of his marvelous talent.

Now I often stop and ponder my own aging. I turned 64 last month.  One more year until my planned retirement.  I remember when grandpa retired and when my father retired.  Seems so long ago.  Now I am facing my own step into that part of life.  My twilight years are definitely upon me.

This brings about thoughts of my own death.  The thought of dying does not bother me.  I am not scared of dying.  One of my friends reminds me often "To every season ..." and she is right.  There is a time for everything and that includes dying.  Don't get me wrong now, I am not ready to die quite yet.  I feel like I have a few more years on this earth left in me.  However, if my doctor told me I had a week left?  No big deal.  I am ready to deal with that possibility.

I do feel like I am starting to burn out at my job, which is kind of sad.  I have loved my job my whole adult life.  I have loved the company I work for and have been faithful to it.  But I am getting tired I think.  I began to feel the burnout after Barbara died and it has slowly increased.  I think that whole second half of 2018 pretty much burned me out on life in general.  Sometimes, I simply do not care anymore.  Like this election that we are having today.  Yes I think it is important.  Yes I plan on voting.  Bottom line though, is whatever happens, I am not going to have to live with the outcome for very long.  My son will though and that is probably the biggest reason I will vote.  Really though, it is just another election.  This country has survived many of them with different outcomes.  This country will survive this one as well.  But I am not going to talk politics ... remember?

Many of you are bragging "I survived the year 2020!" ... I got that beat easily.  I survived 2018.

CHARLIE DANIELS HAS GONE HOME

"Charlie Daniels has died."  That was how the article began.  Those four words stunned me.  I felt my heart ache and a lump develop in my throat.  Charlie Daniels has been a big part of my life since the early seventies.  I loved his music.  I loved his presence.  I loved his patriotism.  I loved the way he shared his faith.  I loved his morals to which he strove to live by. Charlie Daniels was a special man who God had gifted him music as a path to speak out on other issues. 

Apparently he died at the age of 83 due to complications from a stroke.  The catalogue of his works has been closed.  There will not being any new songs that reflect his beliefs in story form.

The important thing to know about the man, and he would often remind people of the fact, was that he was human.  He had been a Christian most of his life but did not necessarily live a perfect Christian life, like all of us.  In the early eighties though, he was convicted to rededicate his life to God and he did it with all of the passion he could muster.  He became a spokesman of sorts that always carried the Christian message when he would talk.  His songs took on more of a Christian theme as his career progressed.  Most important, his fans could see the difference in his life and in his songs.  The man lived as he thought he should.

The Charlie Daniels Band was part of an explosion of southern rock/blues that came on the heels of The Allman Brothers monster album in 1971 "Live At The Fillmore East".  It seemed like overnight bands from the southeast United States were breaking into the charts causing a big change in the sound of the country.  The Marshall Tucker Band, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Grinderswitch, Jerry Jeff Walker, Elvin Bishop, ZZ Top, and Wet Willie led the way in the footsteps of The Allman Brothers.  It was almost like a revolution in the music industry and it took off in a big way.  Still more bands in the southern rock/blues genre would come along and keep the new sound alive.

Daniels loved the roots of the movement.  He promoted in every way he could think of.  One of his standard songs "The South's Gonna Do It" paid homage to all of the pioneers of southern rock.   His best known efforts though were an annual festival held in his home state of Tennessee called "Volunteer Jam".  I am not sure how many of these festivals he held but it was at least seven in my memory.  The first Volunteer Jam was made into a film that was incredible. 

Daniels stayed under the major music radar for many of his early years, which is a shame.  His early albums are masterpieces.  He was a perfectionist and a song had to earn it's way onto the latest album.  The result are that these albums do not have one throw away song on any of them and most people have not heard the majority of these great songs.  The songs on "High Lonesome", "Honey In The Rock", "Saddle Tramp", "Night Rider", and "Fire On The Mountain" are unbelievably good.

What a lot of these songs also reflect is that Charlie Daniels was truly an "every man's man".  He was one of the people.  He would not hold himself up as anyone's better but rather their equal.  He was just one of us and it came naturally to him.

I know this is a short writing.  I could write so much about how this man influenced me.  I do want to say this though.  Many of you have heard me write and talk about John Lennon, David Bowie,  and Lou Reed among others as some of my favorite artists and among the best.  Here is the thing though.  When you take the artist as a whole, as every facet of his life is brought together to see the big picture of who the artist is, in my mind there are three that stand heads above all the rest.  Ray Charles, Leonard Cohen, and Charlie Daniels.  Each of these men displayed the same life evolving aspects.  All three were true to their faith.  They each had a high sense of morals.  They each had a love of their country.  And all three of these men lived a life that truly reflected who they were as human beings.  There are not a lot of those in the arts today, especially the performing arts.

Charlie Daniels will be missed.  His music will live on.  New generations will discover it and Daniels will forever be a huge part of Americana.

Thank you Mr. Daniels.  You made my life richer.

MY COUNTRY? OUR COUNTRY!

I was not going to write anything about the turmoil that is tearing our country apart.  I tried to start writing about it once but things were changing so fast that my writing was woefully out of date after 24 hours.  Things have been moving fast ... too fast.  My perception of things will not agree with a lot of you and to be honest, I am to the point of not really caring one bit right now. The United States is being torn apart from within.  It is quickly becoming a country that I don't recognize and I feel it is changing for the worse.

Let me say one thing that I deeply feel is a true statement.  The vast majority of Americans, well over 99%, were shocked and outraged at the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis.  I know I was.  I want those officers to be held accountable and prosecuted to the full extent of the law.  I want any cop that goes against his sworn oath and duty to be held accountable.  I also think that the police officers should be held to a higher standard when performing their job than ordinary citizens.  I would be willing to wager that most Americans, that 99%, feel the same way.  At the same time, the police should be given latitude for their actions in situations that are high stress with little time to think cognitively on how to deal with it.  A police officer must be able to think on his feet very quickly and to act in the most appropriate manner that he feels is justified.  It takes a special person to do that job and I for one am not equipped to be able to do it.

So what happened in our country to take us from total unanimity on the outrage of the actions of police officers dealing with Mr. Floyd to the subversion taking place in our country today.  Well, the story has been progressing for a long time.  For the sake of brevity let's just keep it in the recent past.  Let's say start in 1964 with the passage of the Civil Rights Act.   That Act was a huge step in our country moving forward.  No, it was not a cure all.  It would take the Supreme Court to take it and mold it to the Constitution.  As late as 1967, a full three years after the Civil Rights Act passed, interracial marriage was against the law in several states, including the great state of Missouri.  When the Supreme Court decided Loving v. Virginia in 1967, it was another very huge step towards bringing the Civil Rights Act to it's full potential to bring equality to all in this land.  We still had a ways to go and the Supreme Court is still to this day making decisions that are based on the Civil Rights Act.  Same sex marriages have been deemed to be under the umbrella of the 1964 Act.  Loop holes in racial equality continue to be sewn shut by the Court.  The police have been reformed somewhat by the Court as well.  The Miranda case is one of the biggest clamp downs on police in the last century making the police treat all people equal.  The decisions continue to be handed down from the Court and the country continues to strive towards that Utopian idea of total equality for all.  Where do I stand on the idea of full and total equality?  I am 100% for it.  I do not think our nation can survive without it.  The country continues to move towards that goal year after year and we will get there.  This I firmly believe.

Now many of you are probably thinking, why has it taken so long to get there?  Why are we still on that path toward total equality?  Well, the best answer I can give is that it is vitally important to not move too fast.  Some laws that are on the books might seem to be against the idea of equality but if we take a good look at them, they are important in the long run to keep equality instead of making it worse.  If we move too fast on such important matters, mistakes will be made and they could have devastating results for those that they are designed to help.  We should be careful and make changes methodically, rationalizing what we want the outcome to be and craft any new laws so that they accomplish what we intend to.  We are closer to real equality for all citizens of this country right now than we have ever been before.  We were anyway until a few months ago.  It has not taken long for a few political groups to start the dismantling of our country, our Constitution.  I feel like we are on a dangerous downhill path to the United States becoming unrecognizable.

So here we are.  The summer of 2020.  It has been 56 years since the  passage of the Civil Rights Act.  The country is only 244 years old.  Less than a quarter of our history as a nation has been under the conditions of the Civil Rights Act ... about 23% of our country's existence. That is not a very long time to bring forth such sweeping changes in different cultures, lifestyles and philosophies.  With every new generation though, a little of the old cultures, lifestyles and philosophies are discarded and it becomes more natural for the country to move towards the goal of equality for all as a greater percentage of the nation learns and believe in what is the right thing to do.  The right way to act and the right way to treat our fellow countrymen and human beings.

Ignorance still has a strangle hold on many members of our society though.  Those who are ignorant of what equality means, or what our country stands for are in the minority of the citizens of this country.  They are still out there though.  The ignorance pervades all cultures, all races, all religions and any other societal sect that there is, but they are thankfully still in the minority.  That is why I can look at this country and feel proud of  how far we have come in this pursuit.  Yes, we have a long ways to go, but we have come such a long ways.  That progress is in danger of being totally lost right now.  I believe the Great American Experiment is in danger of coming to an end. 

You know, for almost a week after Mr. Floyd's murder, we all stood as one.  It was horrible.  It was wrong.  The police officers who committed this crime should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.  There was no question about it.  Then the agitators came.  To me these organizations could and should be labeled as domestic terrorist organizations.  Suddenly our cities started to burn and unlike anything before, the destruction accelerated at a pace so quickly, we could not keep up with the latest developments.  Crime has become rampant as these organizations continue to push their political agendas.  They moved so fast and with so much destruction, we saw our police, our leaders kneel before these agitators which pleased them a great deal.  Now changes are being made and they are being made to quickly, without forethought or logic.  Changes that will change what the United States represent to the world.  Changes that could very well never be walked back.

Bits and pieces of the Constitution is at stake in my opinion.  Free speech has been greatly altered to allow only the proper ideas and thoughts to be expressed in public without being brought down by the wrath of the radicals.  I have already seen the idea of due process greatly inhibited and even tossed aside.  We are treading in dangerous waters.

If Dr. King taught us anything, it was that change can be brought about peacefully.  Our country seems to have forgotten that ideal.

I pray for our country.  I pray for our citizens.  I pray that this great country that stands for freedom unlike any other country in the world will survive this tragedy.  I pray for a civil discourse to solve these problems that we face.  I pray that we can make changes, real changes, but in a thoughtful, reflective and wise manner.

I pray for all .. ALL of my fellow Americans.  

May God bless the country and bring us back together and help us to continue moving forward to real equality for all of us.  That is my hope for the United States of America.

THIRTY GREATEST SONGS OF THE MODERN ERA

I came across a video on YouTube of the incredible Norah Jones singing from her house on a spinet piano a Hank Williams tune.  Now Hank wrote a lot of great music, a lot of beautiful music with lyrics that are as beautiful and somber as the music that accompanies them are.  Hank was special.

I thought to myself, this has GOT to be one of the greatest songs of the modern era, and posted it on Facebook relaying my feelings.  I then got to wondering if I could possible come up with a list of the greatest songs that I am familiar with.  It would have to be more than just the music and more than just the lyrics.  It would have to contain both to qualify.  Beautiful lyrics and beautiful music.  A list of perfect songs.  I am going to try to make it a list of twenty of songs that I am familiar with.  I am sure that there are many songs out there that I have not heard yet and I would welcome suggestions of songs so that I can expend my music knowledge.  So let's give this a shot.

I tried to keep it to a list of ten songs but that proved to be impossible.  There have been so many wonderful songs over the years that I eventually decided on keeping the list to thirty with some honorable mentions plus a separate list of my favorite hymns.  A lot of the hymns are pretty old and may not fit into the modern era category.  The criteria I used was a two prong test.  Fifty percent of the score would be based on the music and fifty percent on the quality of the lyrics.  Any song that uses "YEAH YEAH YEAH" probably wouldn't qualify (sorry John and Paul)  Another thing to keep in mind when looking at this list is the mood I was in while searching out these songs.  Chances are you won't find any distorted guitars on the list or pounding drum solos.  The list of songs are not necessarily in a particular order from best to worst.  It was hard enough narrowing the list down to thirty without then trying to decide which was better than another.

SO ... here are thirty songs that to me, are masterpieces that are timeless.  These songs have stood the test of time for the most part.

01. O Holy Night - Adolphe Adam
02. I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry - Hank Williams
03. Run For The Roses - Dan Fogelberg
04. White Christmas - Irving Berlin
05. Forever Young - Bob Dylan
06. Am I Blue -  ‎Harry Akst‎; ‎Grant Clarke
07. Danny Boy (Londonderry Air) - Frederic Weatherly (Lyrics)
08. The Very Thought Of You - Roy Noble
09. Something - George Harrison
10. Send In The Clowns - Stephen Sondheim

11. We'll Meet Again - Ross Parker, Hughie Charles
12. Come Rain Or Come Shine - Harold Arlen; Johnny Mercer
13. Tears In Heaven - Eric Clapton
14. Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain - Fred Rose
15. Faded Love - Bob, John and Billy Jack Wills
16. Will The Circle Be Unbroken - Ada R. Habershon; Charles H. Gabriel
17. In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning -  David Mann; Bob Hilliard
18. Time In A Bottle - Jim Croce
19. Crossroads - Don McLean
20. Yesterday - John Lennon; Paul McCartney

21. The Wayward Wind - Stanley Lebowsky; Herb Newman
22. Dream - Johnny Mercer
23. Christmas Time Is Here - Lee Mendelson; Vince Guaraldi
24. How Great Thou Art - Carl Boberg
25. Where Or When - Richard Rodgers; Lorenz Hart
26. You Don't Know Me - Cindy Walker; Eddy Arnold
27. Somewhere Over The Rainbow -  Harold Arlen; Yip Harburg
28. What A Wonderful World - George David Weiss; Bob Thiele
29. Crying - Roy Orbison; Joe Melson
30. Chances Are - Robert Allen; Al Stillman

I think this is a pretty impressive list.  Remember the lyrics have to be as great as the music is and these songs have words that will tear at your heart. I love these songs.  Some of you might scoff at Bob Dylan making this list but his "Forever Young" has a beautiful melody if you can get past his vocals and the lyrics are very inspirational.  

There are a lot of songs that just didn't quite cut into the top thirty.  A big reason they may have not made the list is that they are still relatively new songs in the history of music.  Here are a few of them.

01. Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell
02. Remember When The Music - Harry Chapin
03. I Only Have Eyes For You - Harry Warren; Al Dubin
04. When I'm Gone - Sandra Emory Lawrence
05  All Or Nothing At All - Arthur Altman; Jack Lawrence
06. Bridge Over Troubled Water - Paul Simon
07. The Summer Wind -  Heinz Meier; Johnny Mercer
08. He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother - Bobby Scott; Bob Russell
09. Song For You - Leon Russell
10. But Not For Me - George Gershwin; Ira Gershwin

Of course, the list could go on and on and on.  These are special.  These songs all have played a role in my life at one time or another.  I hear these songs and some can make me teary as they take me to places my mind has been.   The newest song of these forty listed is in the honorable mention but I am sure will move into one of the all time greats.  It is a song introduced to me by friends and family at the time of Barbara's death.  "When I'm Gone" was recorded by Joey + Rory and it means the world to me because of the time in which it entered my life. Music is such a wonderful gift that God has given us.

Now for a small list of hymns that have been a part of my life as long as I can remember.  These hymns bring out emotions in me as I listen to the words and how they express the love of God and all that He has done for us.  How God carries us through difficult times and how we can depend on God to follow through with His promises that He gave us.  I am not even going to put a number next to them.  All of the lyrics to these songs are equally important and meaningful.

Amazing Grace
Holy Holy Holy
In The Garden
It Is Well
Just A Closer Walk With Thee
Just As I Am
When I Survey The Wondrous Cross
Were You There...
What A Friend We Have In Jesus 
Blessed Assurance
Blest Be The Tie That Binds 
Sweet Hour Of Prayer 
For The Beauty Of The Earth
I Need Thee Every Hour

So many hymns.  Wonderful songs of Praise and Faith.  All of those hymns I listed come from my childhood, songs that I was raised hearing every Sunday.  Those songs are an integral part of my life.  My philosophy on many things in life are grounded in those hymns.  These are hymns that generations past of my family have sung and pondered and were comforted by.  Hymns are almost magic as they bring us back after wandering afar.  I can not imagine music without hymns being a huge part of the discussion.

Well, my purpose in writing this was to lighten up a little for my readers.  I hope I accomplished that.  I hope you learned why I love music so very much.  I hope that if there is a song you are not familiar with, you will go in search for it and listen.  Consider it my gift to you to introduce you to something new.  You know, something can be 100 years old and still be brand new to somebody.

Thank you for letting me write this to you.  Thank you for looking them over.  Let me know if there is a song that you think should be one of the greatest ever.  I am always anxious to listen to music I may not have been familiar with.  

You all take care now.  Enjoy some music.

God Bless every one of you.

Bill 

TRYING NOT TO FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF

If you have been reading me for awhile you know that I have suffered some serious losses in my life.  I lost all three of my grandparents who I dearly loved and an Uncle that became a confidant of mine as we grew closer than any Uncle/nephew usually does.  These were expected losses though.  I knew the last time I saw my grandfather, that it would be the last time.  Both of my grandmother's deaths did not really catch me off guard and I had over a year taking care of my uncle as cancer slowly took his life.  None of these were a slap upside the head.

But in 2016 there did begin a series of losses that did hit me hard.  I lost my sister Carol Jeanne in March of 2016.  I lost an extremely close friend in February of 2017 totally out of the blue.  Dennis and I had been almost like brothers since we first met in December of 1979.  He suddenly died of a heart attack in his sleep.  Then of course came 2018.  In the last six months of that year I lost my wife of 42 years in July.  In August I lost a neighbor and very good friend of over 40 years, Jim.  Then September found us in shock and stunned as Jim's daughter, Lori, took her own life.  October arrived and just as I was preparing to make my fall visit to Alabama to see my dad and mom, my sister and the rest of the family, my dad died suddenly.  Later that year I lost my Uncle Dale.  Five funerals, not only funerals but important funerals in less than six months.

On December 31, 2018 I sat and pondered the events of the previous six months of my life. I had spent Christmas and the week following alone by myself.  I searched for answers.  I asked God for answers.  It seemed like 2018 was aimed at me and I began to lose my motivation.  I lost any semblance of meaning in my life.  I wasn't angry, but I was hurt.  I was sad.  I was confused. Since then I have come to realize that I need to keep moving forward.  I am striving to get my motivation back, both at the office and the house.  I am working very hard on it and I am making progress.

Today a new thought has entered my mind. The thought is that I am just me and yes, 2018 was rough, but I know of so many others who are hurting and with far more reason than I have.  What triggered this thinking this weekend was a dear friend of mine.  Today she is marking eight years since she lost her husband.  She still hurts from it and she always will.  I know what it is like losing a lifetime spouse now.  But she has more pain than I will ever know.  In a short period of time not only did she lose her husband, but she lost her father and her youngest son.  I can not imagine the hurt that she must feel on a daily basis.  Yet, she continues on keeping herself on track as she takes care of others in her family as well as herself.  I admire her strength.  I wish I had that kind of strength but I do not.

My thinking goes to Alesia and Rachel.  I have written extensively about these young ladies who passed away all too soon, much too young.  I can look at their parents and I know that they hurt with a hurting I will never be able to understand.  I pray that I don't have to understand their pain.  But I watch these two couples over the years and watched them continue to push on.  Yes they hurt on a daily basis with a hut like no other.  Losing a child has got to be the deepest pain imaginable.  I admire these parents.  I admire their strength.  It would be so easy to lie down and let life run them over but they don't.  I look to them for inspiration and there is plenty of it there in their hearts.

I think of a niece of mine who lost her husband at an extremely young age.  I did not know her at the time, I would not know her for several years after that when she married into the family by way of my nephew.  The strength that she has had to find to get to the point of keeping going must have been tremendous.  Yet she has and I admire her so very much because of it.  I love her.  I admire her.  I admire her strength.

Then I think of an old classmate of mine who I only recently reconnected with.  We share much the same story.  He lost his love at an early age as well, and still mourns the loss.  He will for a long time as I will.  He keeps going somehow.  He mentions his partner often and relates memories he has of him.  I admire him.  I admire his courage and his strength.  I can relate to the pain he suffers on a daily basis.  But he moves forward as difficult as that might be.  I admire him and his strength.  His ability to talk about his loss with love and a thankfulness that he had that love, even if just for a short period of time.

And now, I think of my cousins.  They lost their son at the beginning of this COVID-19 shutdown.   They have more strength than anyone I have ever known I think.  They have not been able to have a memorial service or really anything to mark the passing of their son.  They won't be able to take this important step of honoring him and remembering him with friends and family that everyone else seems to have around for support.  I hurt for them as I  imagine having to work through something like.  It will be another month before we are able to gather to remember him.  Before we are able to show the love we had for him and the love we have for my cousins as they try to deal with all of this.  I do so admire their strength.  Never have I ever wanted to just hug two people so very badly as I do them.  They are special to me and it pains me to think of the hurt they are going through over the last couple of months.  I love them so much.

So we come back to me.  Yes I had a few rough years.  Yes 2018 seemed like a total disaster for me and that year will always be in my mind because of all the loss I suffered.  Since July of 2018 I have tried to continue to write, not only for you but for me as well. Every one of the writings I have done has mentioned Barbara along with some other tragedy that hit me.  That was a rough year.  I realize I will always be effected by it.  I realize that the pain I feel from those six months will not leave me.  But I also realize how blessed I am, in spite of that year.

These others that I have talked about today have much more reason to hurt than I do.  The losses they have suffered through are very real and each one of them hurt on a daily basis. i admire and respect every single one of these people.  I look up to them for guidance, as an example of courage and strength that I feel I lack.

For the last year and a half, all I have been able to write about is Barbara.  Even when writing about dad, I am writing about Barbara.  I wrote about my first girlfriend in an attempt to give my readers a break from reading about Barbara, but I wrote about her still even in that piece.  I WANT to write about Barbara, my dad and my sister.  I think that it is a good sign that I at least have been able to write something lately.  It does not come easy.

I imagine that these people that I wrote about here, look at my writings over the last year and a half and think about how lucky I really am and don't realize it. Trust me my friends, I realize how lucky I have been.  I was lucky I was to have Barbara for those 42 years.  I was extremely lucky for my dad to live into his 90's.  I was lucky to have such a good neighbor and friend as Jim for all those years (side note on me and Jim; our friendship did not start out very well but as time wore on the bonding became very real and he was like a second father-in-law to me).  I realize how lucky I was to have Lori around to take care of Barbara, and to help her on a day to day basis.  I realize how lucky I was to have an uncle like Dale, who I watched change from a slightly bitter man (he had lost two sons while I was growing up) into a loving, caring patient man who thought about others so lovingly.  I never knew my Uncle Dale very well, but when my mom visited him towards the end of his life he had love for me and my family that I didn't truly realize as he asked mom how I was doing since Barbara died. He cared.

I do know I have been lucky in life but it is hard to reconcile that with the losses.  I kind of think it is because time goes by so fast.  Life is so short but we don't realize it until death touches us.  On a daily basis I think of all of you and try to understand your pain.  I will never be able to accomplish that.

The important thing about all of this though. is this.  These people who I have outlined their stories to you about.  These people who are hurting beyond my comprehension.  Every single one of them have been there for me, giving me support.  Giving me encouragement.  Listening to me as I work through my own pain.  They set theirs aside just for a bit to help me with mine.  That, my friends, is strength and love that I never expected nor do I think I deserve from these wonderful friends and family.  Yes I have been so very lucky.

I admire all of you.  I look up to all of you.  I pray for all of you.

May God bless each and every one of you.

YOU AND ME AGAINST THE WORLD BUDDY

I had never had a pet until Barbara got me a German Shepard/Golden Retriever mix pup shortly after we were married.  This pup was a gorgeous dog that had the feathering of the retriever and the facial mask and hind legs of the sheperd.  Stunning looking dog.  He was big and lean and powerful.  He was also very gentle. I named him Milhous after President Nixon.  I know ... that's weird.  Yes it was but it was unique.  I remember taking Milhous to my grandfather's because he loved dogs so much.  My grandpa, a lifetime Democrat, held the pup up and look into his eyes.  Without taking his eyes off of the dog grandpa asked me, "What did you say his name was?"  "Milhous" I answered with great pride and grandpa just chuckled to himself as was his way before telling me, "You know .... when this dog finds out what you have done to him he is going to turn on you."  We both laughed.  Grandpa enjoyed the opportunity to be witty as he always did.

This began a short tradition of mine.  Well, not short as far as time is concerned but short in the number of dogs this tradition effected.  Milhous was eventually poisoned and died from internal organ damage at the hands of some unstable neighbors.  I mourned the loss of Milhous.  My first pet was gone.  Barbara worked on talking me into getting another dog.  We eventually did get a pup that would become a Christmas present for the family.  I named him "Rudolph" or Rudy for short.  It fit well because it was Christmas time and I could tell Brett he was named after Santa's reindeer but in reality he was named after President Ford, whose middle name was Rudolph.  The tradition had begun.  We were on a path of naming our dogs after Republican Presidents which left my mother very confused as to why I would do such a thing and cause my grandfather to further worry about me and my philosophy.  It was fun.

Rudy and I were nearly inseparable.  We went walking every weekend no matter the weather.  He rode with me on rides everywhere I went almost.  Rudy knew his limits but pushed them as far as he could.  Sometimes he would slip out the front door and take off running.  Luckily Rudy loved all our neighbors and when he got out all that had to be done was one of the neighbors to call to him and he would go to their house to get petted and wait for me to arrive to take him home. If it happened that none of the neighbors were out, Rudy would take off running down the street.  I would casually walk into the house and get the car keys to drive down the street about eight houses where Rudy would be sitting on the curb waiting for my arrival.  When I got to him I would open the car door and he would casually get into the car and get a ride around the block, which thrilled him.  Rudy had a good life but as is the case in many retrievers, his hips eventually wore out due to joint displacement.  He could no longer pull himself up from when he was lying down.  Wherever he lay down, he was stuck until I came along to pick him up.  He was in pain and did not have a great quality of life and so we made the painful decision to let him go.  Barbara could not even go into the room where Dr. Lyle was going to give Rudy the shot.  Brett stayed for a few minutes but then he had to leave.  In the end it was just me and Rudy along with the Doctor as he slipped off.  I had  slept on the floor with him the night before and now I was lying next to him the next morning so he would not be alone.  Once again I mourned and once again Barb worked on talking me into getting a third dog.

Emporia, Kansas was where our next dog hailed from.  He was a pure bred Golden Retriever and a member of the American Kennel Club.  His official name on the papers is "Clark's Ronald Wilson "Dutch" Reagan".  Obviously I had high expectations from this dog.  Dutch latched onto Barb from the early days as she trained him and got him prepared to be a dog that stood to my expectations.  She was pleased with how Dutch would snuggle up with her instead of me and I predicted to her that he might be your pup, but he is going to be my dog.  That prediction played out and I reminded Barbara of it plenty of times as the years passed.  Like his predecessors, Dutch goes for walks and car rides with me as often as he can.  He minds very well, even taking his medicine without protest.  He still stuck close to Barb though.  As Barb's health began to falter she spent more time at home alone with Dutch.  They were together practically 24/7 for over two years.  Dutch slept on the floor next to Barb.  During this time I was Dutch's play mate while Barb was the comforter and nourished him.  He went to her for petting and loving and to me for throwing balls and running around.

Then came July of 2018. Dutch had not seen much of me for a week.  I would leave early in the morning before sunrise and come home late at night to let him out, feed him and then go to bed.  He was getting needy I think.  He had grown accustomed to not being alone in the house for such long periods of time.  On that Monday though, I arrived home around five in the afternoon.  He met me at the door and started pushing himself into my leg to indicate he wanted to be petted, which I did.  I let him outside and filled his water and food bowls for him before letting him back in and going to my room to take a nap.  He did not follow me.

When I got up a couple of hours later I found him lying next to the couch.  Over the time him and Barbara had spent so much time together, that had become his place to sleep.  Barb slept on the couch, and he slept next to her on the floor.  As I walked into the living room he sat up and looked at me.  His eyes followed me as I went to sit in my chair.I sat in my chair thinking about the days events.  My life would never be the same.  Neither would his.  I looked over at the couch where he was sitting up just staring at me.  It was as if he knew that things had changed.  He stood up and walked over to me and gently laid his head in my lap and we petted for quite a while.  I couldn't take my eyes off of him.  He was very calm, more so than usual.

I finally found some words to say to him.  "It's just you and me buddy" I said as I rubbed his chest and he looked at me. Maybe it was just my mood but his eyes seemed very sad to me.  As we sat there quietly a song from long ago filtered into my head.  "You and Me Against the World" by Helen Reddy.  Beautiful song and the words seemed to fit this quiet time so well.  From now on it would be me and Dutch together making our way through life.

That night as I wandered off to bed, Dutch stayed at his station next to the couch where Barbara was supposed to be.  Her arm was suppose to be reaching down petting him on the head as they both fell asleep.  Even though it had been a week since he had felt that comfort, he stayed next to the couch as if she were there.  It was where he was suppose to be come night time.

Dutch slept next to the couch for three or four months, expecting Barbara to suddenly appear and pet him to sleep.  As was also his custom he would get up at half past five and come to my room to wake me up for work.  I took a trip to Alabama to see mom, dad and my sister and to try to get myself use to the new life I would be facing while Dutch spent some quality time with his brother, Bernard, at my cousins.

Me and Dutch have been getting accustomed to the new reality that we face.  He now comes into my room with me when I go to bed and sleeps on the floor there.  He still wakes me up at five or so every day, including Saturday and Sunday (sigh).  The routine has changed a bit for both of us but we have established one that works for each of us.  He still misses Barbara though.  I can tell.  He comes to me for his petting now but I am sure that in his head he is thinking it isn't the same.  Dad just doesn't do it as comforting as mom did.

Dutch is getting old now.  He has put on weight.  His joints are starting to give him trouble.  He is slow to lie down and slow to get up.  He brings me his ball when it is time to play and lays his head in my lap when it is time to cuddle.  He walks over to the back door and looks back at me over his shoulder when it is time to go outside.  We communicate very well I think.

I dread the day when Dutch is no longer here.  Right now we comfort each other.  We help each other through everyday.  I need Dutch and Dutch needs me.  We are best friends in it together and we keep trying to move forward together.

Yes I do fear the day when I will lose him but for now, "it is you and me buddy".  We will get through as much of this as we can ... together ... as a team.

I love you Dutch.

SINCERE CONCERN FOR VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN

I want to talk about Vice President Biden for a little bit.  I do not want to weigh in on the recent harassment allegations against him except maybe in how his party may approach the situation.  What I want to talk about is the changes that the Vice President has seemed to be going through during this campaign season. It may not be a popular writing with some of my readers because of what is coming to light about the Vice President.  Let's try anyway.

Pre-accusation  feelings  on Mr. Biden.  I respect the man.  I have watched him in the Senate for many years and I feel like he had an air about him as a fair minded, bipartisan politician who tried to sincerely do what was best for our country.

I have been following national politics closely since the Presidential election of 1968 when President Nixon defeated Vice President Humphrey.  With the arrival of cable television and the creation of the C-SPAN network that televised the House of Representative and later expanded to broadcast the Senate live as well, I was able to witness these politicians and decide for myself what kind of people they were instead of taking my grandfather's word for it.  It was eye opening as I grew older and came to understand the working of the government better.

Joe Biden stood out to me.  As I watched the Senate there were many Senators that I just could not bring myself to have much respect for.  Among those were Senator Leahey, Senator Durbin, and Senator Kennedy (Edward) among others on both sides of the aisle.  However there were many Senators that I felt were doing the best they could for their states and their constituents as well as the country.  These Senators also covered both sides of the aisle and one of those was Joe Biden.

Joe Biden had my respect pretty much the whole time that I was aware of him and who he was.  The thing that really won my respect for him though was when he was Chairman of the Judiciary committee.  He presided over the extremely controversial confirmation hearings of Clarence Thomas to be placed on the Supreme Court.  Justice Thomas underwent accusations almost parallel to the hearings that we just watched Justice Kavanaugh go through.  There was an accuser.  The Democrats smelled blood in the water and the Republicans wanted the accusations to be proved beyond a shadow of a doubt.  It was ugly.  It was nasty.  It brought out an angry Justice Thomas that accused the process of being a "high tech lynching".  Senator Biden, as I mentioned, was the chairman of the committee.  What I saw Biden do during that 2 weeks of accusations, fighting, arguing presenting to the American people the United States Senate at it's worse, was a man who tried his very best to keep things in order.

Joe Biden tried, and I believe succeeded, in keeping the hearings fair and under control.  He chastised both Republican Senators as well as Democratic Senators during that time. He gave and took on both sides.  It was probably the most fair hearings I have ever seen coming out of the Senate (except for the Soto-Mayor and the John Roberts hearings maybe).  Joe Biden stood tall.  Joe Biden kept to his plan on how to handle the hearings.  Joe Biden came off as a fair and honest man in my mind and he earned my respect during that time.

Since then, I feel like he continued to do an admirable job as a Senator.  When he was chosen by President Obama to be his running mate, I was pleased.  It made my decision on who to vote for in those two elections pretty difficult.  I was not enamored with Mitt Romney and so that was probably the second toughest decision I had ever made in a Presidential election.  The other one was in 1976 When President Ford was challenged by President Carter.  I voted for Carter in 1976 and even though his administration can be seen fairly easily as a failure, he did some very good things as President.  I was not, and still am not questioning myself on voting for Carter that year.

I did not vote for President Obama however.  At the time I felt like Obama was too inexperienced to hold the office of President.  He was a one term Senator with little, if any, other experience in National politics, particularly foreign policy.  That was what threw me over to vote for Romney.  I believe a President's number one responsibility is that of foreign policy and it just wasn't there with Obama.  Even as Obama ran for a second term, his opponent Senator McCain was much more proficient in foreign policy than the President was.  Through all of that though, I still held my respect for Joe Biden.  Biden did know foreign policy.  In my mind Biden was still that hard nosed Senator from years ago who was bi-partisan and honest and sincere.  I still feel that way about the Vice President. (current allegations withstanding).

So that is my background concerning Joe Biden.   I do feel like during his eight years as Vice President he became a little more partisan but over all still a fair, sincere man.  That brings us to what my concern with the former Vice President is and what this entry is meant to be about.  Most important about Biden was that he never seemed to jump on the "Hate President Trump At All Cost" bandwagon.

When we entered the current campaign season it was fairly obvious that the Democrats were going to have some bloody moments on the road.  It seemed that the party was fractured widely between moderates and, well about as far left as you can get on a piece of graph paper ... maybe even off the paper.  But then came Joe Biden into the mix.  Now I can't say I agree with him on policy or really much of anything as it seems that Biden, as well as myself, have changed over the years.  Still, I could see Joe Biden as that same man I saw at the Thomas hearings.  He was an arbitrator early in the campaign.  He would answer questions quick, straight and hard nosed.  You didn't have to wonder where Biden stood on things and it began to appeal to the Democratic party.

Something began to happen though during the primary season.  It wasn't easy to notice at first.  Biden began to hesitate just a little before giving an answer.  The pause began to grow as the weeks went by.  Then Biden began to get words turned around now and again but was quick to correct himself.  After that little anger burst began to come from somewhere deep inside him and a few times he threatened democratic supports and challenged them to what appeared to be fist fights out in the parking lot.  Then it got worse and I began to really get concerned about Joe Biden as a man, as a human being.  Joe was slowing changing into a Joe Biden that I did not recognize.

Over the past few weeks, the Vice President has begun to slur his words a little.  His thought processes have begun to be disjointed.  He forgets words entirely and can not correct himself.  He seems to not be aware of where he is or sometimes what he is doing.  During one campaign speech he announced that he was "Joe Biden and I am running for United States Senator".  This was the point when I was convinced that early onset dementia was starting to effect Joe Biden.

I have no proof of this.  There have not been any medical examinations or anything of the sort to confirm what I feel I see in the man.  But I do see it.  I watched my father slowly slip into dementia and what I saw in Biden was almost a mirror as to what I saw in my father.  It continues to get worse in my eyes as the days go by.  He looks old.  He looks tired.  His wife, Jill, has had to walk him off the platform a few times.  He has wondered off camera.  One night with the camera on him, he turned and talked to the wall with his back to the camera.  He stops mid sentence constantly now trying to remember what his train of thought was.  Personally, I see the dementia growing almost daily.

It is sad.  I am sincere in saying that.  It is sad to see any person slip into dementia especially when you have seen them with a sharp mind and very capable of taking care of themselves.  It truly is sad to see Biden go through this.  What I do not understand, what I can not understand, is how the Democratic Party puts him through this.  It is becoming more obvious by the day that if he were to be elected, he would not be able to serve the country the way we deserve to be served.  He would not be capable of carrying out his duties, of upholding the Constitution without the danger of being led by people who could be of questionable character talking him into making decisions that the Joe Biden of past years would never make.

I feel that the Democratic Party has to find a new candidate to take Biden's place on the ballot and they need to come out of their convention with a viable candidate.  If they put Joe Biden on stage in a debate with President Trump, I do not believe I would be able to watch it.  It would be so sad to see that once great man, not able to formulate a consistent argument or sentence without stumbling all over his words and looking tired and old.  I would not want to see that.  I don't think the American people would want to see that, no matter what your political philosophy is.

Now comes the only time I will bring up the current allegations against Biden.  I truly hope that what I am about to say does not come true.  My fear is that the party that Biden was a part of and loved for all these years may turn on him.  They may use this scandal as the excuse to replace him at the convention putting him and his family through unnecessary turmoil.  I think that this could happen to cover up the fact that the Democratic Party were ready to nominate a man who is so clearly unable to carry out the responsibility of the office if elected.  This would be about the meanest thing that could happen.

I hope, my fervent hope, is that somebody in the leadership of the party, a few of those people, talk to Jill Biden and get her on board before approaching Joe with what everyone is seeing from day to day.  My hope is that they are  able to talk to him and make him understand enough to realize that stepping aside is the right thing to do.  I have no idea or thought on who could or should replace Biden at the top of the ticket.  That is what the convention will be for.  My hope is that they treat Joe Biden gently with all the respect he has earned over the decades of serving his country. As far as the allegations, that can be worked out without a President being hampered as President Trump has been since he was elected.  The situation can be handled in a just way, in quiet and outside of government.

Joe Biden deserves at least this much respect and decency.  I truly believe this.  The last time I felt this bad for a Senator that went down was when George McGovern and the democrats embarrassed and shamed my senator from Missouri, Thomas Eagleton in 1972 because it came to light that he suffered from depression and was seeking help for it.  I feel like the situation with Biden is much worse than the Eagleton situation.

I am asking the leaders and members of the Democratic Party to please, please give Joe Biden some dignity as his political career comes to a close.  He deserves it.

(As an aside, I do not condone any actions that Joe Biden may have done if the allegations are true.  At the time of this writing it is reported that 8 women have made accusations in the past against Mr. Biden.  This of course, changes my attitude toward him as a man in the overall scheme of things.  I also believe he needs to be held accountable after an investigation is conducted)

SPRING/SUMMER 2020 AND BASEBALL

Oh my how the year 2020 just does not seem right.  Now we are all looking for some normalcy to return and the biggest thing that can return us back to a normal summer is baseball.

The meme showed up on my Facebook feed a few days ago.  It was simple enough but carried a message that usually ends during the first weekend of April every year.  Here is what it looked like:

This was placed on Facebook by my cousin Dawn.  Dawn lives in St. Louis (which you think would be bad enough) and she carries on the tradition of the rivalry between the Cardinals of St. Louis and the Cubs of Chicago.  It is all in good fun and we each have a laugh at each others expense every baseball season.  At the same time we do play nice when at the end of the season one of the two clubs are in the play-offs.  This means I play nice a lot more often than Dawn does because chances are the Cardinals are in the play-offs three years for every one year that the Cubs make the post season ... and that is being conservative.

However, Dawn did show a lot of class in 2016 when the Cubs finally won the World Series for the first time in over a hundred years.  I received a pair of socks that proclaimed the Cubs as World Series Champions.  I always pull for the Cardinals during post season as the represent the state of Missouri in a very fine and classy manner.

This year has been different though.  Thanks to a virus that has the American economy shut down, there is not any baseball.  If Tom Hanks theory of "There's no crying in baseball" holds true, then there is a lot of crying around the thirty ballparks that serve as home to the thirty clubs because there is no baseball.

Dawn's meme was correct, if not slanted, as we begin to see the first of May approaching without a single ballgame being played.  Even spring training was cut short.  All major league sports are suspended for an undetermined amount of time.  I am just thankful that the Chiefs were able to get that Super Bowl victory and the Blues won the Stanley cup before things went completely bonkers in the sports world.

How many of us have ever had the thought cross our mind of there being no sports.  Chances are that if we did think that thought it would be for a positive outcome. Well, folks here we stand, absolutely no competitive sports being played around the world.  There is not any soccer.  There are no auto races anywhere from local Saturday night dirt races on up to NASCAR, Indy and Formula 1 racing.  There is not a golf tourney every weekend.  We did not have "March Madness" for college basketball and the college softball and baseball teams did not even make it though half a season and so there was not a College World Series.

The televised sports networks do not know what to show.  They spent a week showing the old "Home Run Derby" show from the late 50's to early 60's.  After 3 or 4 hours of that it is snooze time.  I have taken to watching Full baseball games from previous years from both the regular seasons as well as some of the old World Series classic games.  I watched a game the other day from a couple of decades ago where the Phillies beat the Cubs 23-22.  Chances are we would not have seen a game like that this season.  I have watched Bob Gibson pitch the first game of the 1968 World Series, a pitching masterpiece,  again.  It has been awhile since I have even saw highlights of that game.

Now the question is starting to bug me about when the Major League baseball season finally gets underway?  What will it look like when it does.  It could be close to the All-Star break before they even start the season.  Will there be a Kentucky Derby this year?  An Indianapolis 500?

Let's face it though.  The biggest thing missing this summer is baseball.  From the 7 year olds playing t-ball all the way to the major leagues.  It is not around and we miss it.  You might not want to admit that you do, but I have a feeling that somewhere deep down you feel its absence.

We drive through the neighborhood past ball field complexes that are usually filled with kids of all ages in filthy uniforms drinking a post game coke yet now the parking lots at the fields are empty.  The glow over the houses from the lights at the ball fields every  night is now dark.  The wiffleball games in the middle of the street joining all the neighborhood kids into a fun time of socialization are not to be found.

I Googled baseball 2020 and there is now a passionate discussion on whether to go back to 1960 when the season was only 154 or try to squeeze in the full 162 game season

I mean, is this discussion even needed?  Are we missing baseball so much that the only baseball arguments that are being made is whether to eight fewer games than normal?  This is sad indeed.

I read an article proposing that Major League Baseball commence in empty stadiums.  Not the usual regular season stadiums though, like Fenway, Wrigley or Yankee, but rather in the teams spring training stadiums.  Empty spring training stadiums.  This way the teams would not have to fly all over the country but a short drive around Arizona or Florida to play the game.  The problem with this idea, of course, is that between Florida and Arizona. the leagues intertwine terribly.  We would have a one season realignment of baseball with the champions from Florida playing the champions from Arizona is a World Series played in, oh I don't know, Midland, Texas maybe?

I could probably handle all of that but there is one thing that could change the face of baseball for a very long time.  If this "Florida/Arizona" model is accepted this year, what happens to the designated hitter rule?  You might smirk at this but it is a huge question.  For REAL baseball fans, the designated hitter was what George Steinbrenner sold his soul to the devil for.  He couldn't make the deal for both leagues but he got it in place in the American League.  A Faustian type conspiracy that would bring the Yankees a few more World Series titles, plenty of more post season appearances and the added bonus of not having to watch your pitcher look like a third grader at the plate every three innings swing lazily at pitches the he had no chance of making contact with.

This "Florida/Arizona" model for the 2020 season would be the final movement in the conspiracy to get rid of any semblance of puritanical baseball.  This is the biggest danger that the 2020 season faces, it is the largest risk that could possibly be taken.  The conspirators goal is to make their final move on placing the designated hitter rule into place for all of baseball.  My heart aches at the thought of that happening.  The next step would be replacing managers with robots as all strategy would more or less be taken from the game.  No longer would we see a full roster of a team being utilized in one game.  No more double substitutions to keep the pitcher at the bottom of the line up.  Pinch hitters and runners would become even more scarce than they are now.

I wonder, if it is possible, that some high roller money men in the Bronx, New York financed this virus and paid off news outlets to spread alarm.  Will President Trump step in to save the day by pushing for an amendment to the Constitution outlawing forever the designated hitter rule from the National League or is he also part of the conspiracy to bring the designated hitter into full force through out baseball.

Could this truly be the reason for this virus being unleashed on the world in 2020?  If so, I fear for the future of our country for when the designated hitter rule becomes the new norm for baseball, baseball as we know it will no longer exist.

Okay, so I got a little silly with this post.  I should be able to do that from time to time, don't you think?  When My cousin Dawn posted that meme about the Cards being undefeated while the Cubs have yet to win a single game I wrote to her that it was typical liberal spin on facts to which she replied  "We have to joke this year. We have nothing to watch. I’m rewatching the Stanley Cup now.".  
My cousin Dawn is correct.  Right now at this point in time, we do need to keep a good disposition and make the best of what we are dealt.  Grab fun and laughter wherever you can.  It could be the only things that keeps us all sane.

Good luck dear readers as we work our way through this summer of 2020.

God bless all of you.