Tuesday, August 30, 2011


I feel this need to talk about depression in this blog again.  The problem is that I really don't feel like talking about it.  I am not sure how long it has been since I did write about depression but I am sure my readers are not ready for another go at it.  Not yet anyway.

Writing about depression really wears me out.  Almost as much as thinking about it   There is so much to it and it effects a person and the people around them in so many different ways.  Sometimes when I sit to write though, it pops right out there at the top of the list.  I am refusing to do it this time.  I may not be able to with hold writing about depression in the future but I can today.  So this is an entry not about depression.

Writing not about depression is a tricky thing to do.  I refuse to write about it but it still is in the back of my mind as I don't write about it.  I try to think of other things that are not depression to write about and they all seem to not quite hit the mark.  They are subjects I will write about when I am not not writing about depression, but instead writing about those topics.

I think of writing about some influential people in my life that you will eventually meet.  There is Mr. Allard who had an impact on many kids lives even up until today.  Those kids grew up under his tutelage and were forced to learn to love him and they have not changed.  They still love him.

There is Miss Belden who taught literature in High School and influenced me a great deal on how to read a book and get the most out of it.  She introduced me to books that I would have never known existed if it hadn't been for her.  A lot of those books were very depressing books.  But I am not writing about depression so I won't mention those books here right now.

There were Elementary School teachers that taught me how to learn by listening.  Mrs. Bledoe and Mrs. Fitzwater, my third and fourth grade teachers respectively were very good at what they did and gave me a love for school that would last at least six years until I entered High School.

Coach Madison was my coach in elementary school my fifth and six grade years and was a fine coach.  He would still be coaching at Symington Elementary when my son arrived to go to school there for six years.  I think he had much the same influence on my son as he had on me while I was at Symington.

I have talked about a few of my relatives who have passed on from this life.  I have tried to introduce you to them so that you could get as much of the feeling that they gave me.  They were wonderful people.  I plan on writing about a few more aunts and uncles who are gone from this world but right now that would be, although celebratory to a degree, it would also be depressing so I will not write about those wonderful people quite yet.

I have already posted one depressing song today and I have vowed as part of not writing about depression not to post another depressing song.  I do think that most of the better lyrics to songs are depressing ones because they are the ones that pull at us and make us think and feel.  Not writing about depression means not writing about depressing songs.

One thing that is definitely not depressing is living in the great state of Missouri.  Living in Kansas City, Missouri is an added bonus.  This town is beautiful with all of it;s fountains and mixture of old and new architecture.  It has a culture that would rival almost any city twice as big as it is.  As a matter of fact, if you don't watch or read the news and ignore the harsh cold and snowy winters as well as the hot and humid summers and you don't pay attention to the Royals or the Chiefs, it is almost impossible to get depressed in this wonderful town.

Not writing about depression is a challenge but not impossible.  I feel that so far I have done a fairly good job of not writing about depression and how it effects people.  I have a good job that is not depressing to get up and go to every day for that last thirty one years.  I have a son who it is not depressing to see as much as I possibly can.  It is not depressing to have a wife who cares about me when I am not not depressed as well as when I am not depressed.  I have a dog who does not even know the meaning of the word depression but is rather over the top not depressed whenever he sees me come home from work.

One of these days, probably sooner than later, I will write about being not not depressed.  It won't be today though.  Today I force to look around me at all of the good things in life and try to realize that they belong to me as well as everyone else.  Today I look and see that there is some respect for me coming from the rest of the world as little as it may be.  A little respect can go along ways in keeping a person not depressed though.

I can listen to my music and enjoy the loveliness of it whether it be the Rolling Stones or Beethoven and find myself being not depressed.  I can pick up that guitar that I am so terrible at and continue to try to get better at it and not be depressed.  Even when you mess up with a guitar, it is still a beautiful sound that comes from it.

Being not not depressed is a very serious matter.  It should not be taken lightly.  After my battle with being not not depressed, I would not wish it on anyone.  It hurts too much.

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