Monday, November 15, 2010


There comes a time in every boy's life when they have that very special moment.  Leading up to this moment in life, the lad experiences very many different levels of kissing.  When you are a toddle, everyone wants you to give them a kiss and when told to, you just lean into the target and gently place your face upon their cheek.  Not a particularly fun event thinking back on it.  You get different smells from different people, some of the people actually try to kiss you back with their dry or lipsticked lips and the worst part of this procedure is that you don't even know what you are doing.  It is a forced action brought upon you by your parents as well as strangers.

As you grow a little older, your kissing becomes more pronounced.  It is still ordered that you perform the task by the elders in your life, but now you are kissing little playmates about your same age of three or four.  The kisses are more of a real kiss but almost always still placed on the cheek and again, not a voluntary action.  Grown ups think it is just adorable to watch two little people fake kiss at that tender age and sometimes I wonder if that is where a lot of psychological damage begins.

Pretty soon you are in your preteens and lower teens and you find yourself attending parties.  Kissing becomes more of a volunteer thing although at first it is still somewhat ordered by the playing of games such as spin the bottle and such.  Eventually you may become attached to someone in this age period and do a little smooching every now and then, but it is on a very easy and non attachable level.  You may start going steady with someone and a kiss is a requirement of sorts whenever you say goodbye to each other after a party.  This kissing is the start of getting into the real realm of sexual attraction and is one of the final steps to that first real kiss.

The first real kiss is when you kiss someone that you truly care about.  You think of this person a lot during the days and you may only see them two or three times a week but the time you do see them seems very special in nature.  You hold hands a lot.  You sit next to each other in church.  Every once in awhile your parents will drive the two of you to a movie for something that closely resembles a date.  Eventually it does happen.  That first real kiss.  The kiss where you want to kiss her.  The kiss where you feel a certain turning of your stomach as you contemplate it.  The kiss that makes your head spin for the first time and you realize you want this to happen again and again not realizing that a first real kiss seldom ends up in a lifetime of kisses with the person.  The first real kiss is where all your emotions are spilled out and you cherish the time that the two sets of lips are pressed together.  You find that the first real kiss is a miracle of nature and a miracle that you will never forget for the rest of your life.  No matter who you end up with in life, that first kiss will always be there in your memory holding a special place in your heart.

My first kiss came to me in the form of a girl a little bit older than me.  Her name was Vallory and she was beautiful.  I must have been about in the eighth grade or a freshman when the first real kiss happened for me.  Val and myself had been good friends for many years, but as of late we had found ourselves getting closer and closer to each other.  We were the next thing to best friends that an eighth grade boy could have with a girl.  We began hanging around a lot together at church but we both felt we had to hide the fact that something was growing in our feelings for each other.

We had been friends for so long that kissing each other felt out of the question.  Ours was not suppose to be that kind of a relationship and I don't think we understood the miracle of our minds and bodies changing that would allow us to be caught in a situation of feelings like that.  The longer we denied it though, the stronger it seemed to be until one evening we began to discuss whether we should kiss or not.

I know it may seem like we were a little old to be at this point but keep in mind we had been just friends for years.  Would a kiss between us hamper that friendship or make it stronger.  This was the important question we faced.  This would be the first real kiss for both of us and thus a very important  moment in both of our lives.

We decided that if we were to finally kiss, it would have to be very secret and covert.  No one could know about it because of the way we felt people saw us in public as being very good friends.  After a few long talks we decided that for our own good, to be able to know if what we felt was real that the first real kiss would have to take place.  We began to plan out the details of it.

It doesn't sound very romantic planning out a first kiss but then if it were meant to be romantic it would take care of itself.  We decided that on the next Wednesday night we met at the church we would carry through with the first real kiss.  It would take place in the furnace room of the church.  Not many people actually knew where the furnace room was and there never was anybody in there anyway.  It would be the perfect spot where we could be alone, size up the situation perform the act and then soak all the feelings and emotions in that it might bring to the surface.

The next Wednesday found just the two of us standing in the furnace room of the church facing each other and staring into each others eyes.  The moment came naturally as she tilted her head up and I lowered mine.  It felt like we were in slow motion as our lips approached each other.  When our lips finally made contact we quickly pulled away and looked into each others eyes again.  Neither of us said a word as we tried to sort out the feelings rushing all around inside of us.  Val put her hands on my shoulders and we pressed our lips together again.  At last the first truly real kiss was happening.  It lasted more than a few seconds and I could hear her breathing softly as we kept ourselves together with our lips.  We pulled away and looked at each other again and then decided we had better get back to where people could see us before we were missed.  One last little peck of our lips and we left the furnace room having accomplished what we had set out to do.

That first kiss was very special to me and Val both.  Neither of us ever forgot it.  We continued to grow close for awhile then it seemed our relationship settled back into that best friend level and the kissing stopped.  We remained close friends helping each other out of jams.  Val introduced  me to the girl who would become my wife for the rest of my life.

That first kiss with Val taught us both a lesson in life and in love.  Relationships would not necessarily last forever but while you had one going, it could be the greatest thing in the world.  My relationship with my wife has last thirty five years now and it all started with my first real kiss introducing me to the love of my life.

Val died last year and I was crushed.  She had been one of the most important people in my life outside family members for the great majority of my life.  We had learned together.  We had helped each other.  We had loved each on a best friend level.

When I found out she had passed away,  one of my first thoughts was that memory of that first real kiss in the church furnace room and how that evening had effected both of us in a way that kept us friends for years.  I enjoyed that kiss and I will never forget it.  Val was a special friend and I miss her terribly and will continue to miss her the rest of my life.


  1. I remember my first kiss - I was in the 5th grade - and it took place in a doorway of an old vacant house with Jesse Salazar. Leading up to this kiss was very similar to your experience... friendship, common feelings of getting closer, discussion of the prospect of kissing each other, planning that secret place, and execution. It was the most wonderful thing I had ever experienced. I still think of Jesse all these years later, and fondly remember that first kiss. Thanks for reminding me of that special time.

  2. Such lovely writing....Val. Sweet girl.
    My first kiss? Hmmmm....Tom Brown, 7th grade and our favorite song at the time? "Hanky Panky". Such a long time ago. Thanks for your writing and taking me back many, many years. Love you.