This is a difficult subject that has been in and out of my brain many times and causes me confusion. I think we all can agree that life is not fair. In one way or another, one situation or another life just does not seem to play out fairly.
Life is unfair sometimes when it comes to wealth. Life can be unfair when it comes to being able to be mentally healthy. Life can be unfair with just about any situation you can think of. The part of life that I want to address is the unfairness of life when it comes to health and unfair with the issue of life and death.
To begin with I think I need to state a few things. I do believe in God. I believe that we can be saved by God through belief in His Son and that eternal life through this salvation is true. I am not sure how it all works, however, but I am sure it does. For example, does God really decides when your time has come? If He does does this make him a terribly unfair God? Is there a reason for things that happen, or do we, our human selves, find a reason for things that happen and attribute it to Providence. I simply have not come to a conclusive realization as to what really happens. I realize that many of the readers of my blog do not believe the same way I do and so they may look at this subject from a different perspective.
There are so many different starting points on this subject, it is difficult to know where to start. I suppose the one place to start is to look at a few people who have passed through no fault of their own or others for that matter. Death visited and took them when they had so much more to give to the world. I have written about a few of these. I have written about Alesia Dawn who died in her mid teens of heart failure after being declared healthy and set for a normal life two weeks prior by her doctor. I have written about Rachel, a young lady in her early twenties who had a tumor in her brain steal her from a world that needs more people as she was. Both of these young ladies had so much to give, were so loved by families, friends and communities that the logic of losing them seems totally unfair. I read about teenagers who kill younger children and yet they are allowed to live out a normal life, albeit under capture and in prison, but they are still living while Alesia and Rachel are gone.Is this really fair? For it to even come close to being fair, there must be a message, a reason for Alesia and Rachel passing and a message or reason for the killer kids to be allowed to live a full life. While I can look and see a few good things to come about after Alesia and Rachel died, it is difficult for me to see that these things outweigh the impact they would have had on people if they had lived. Both of them were so special and loving and just plain good.
Another friend I wrote about was Laurie. She was coming up on middle age when while on a business trip, she died during the night by herself in a hotel room in a strange city. It was a natural death and made no sense at all. Laurie was a person who had a great sense of humor and could put a smile on anyone's face. She loved people and she loved life, yet it was taken from her for reasons that no one knows. She was just gone. Meanwhile so many people her same age that cause pain and hurt on humanity continue to go from day to day, out on the streets spreading hate and hurt wherever they go. It was not fair to Laurie, or the rest of the world to lose her.
I have watched as two of my co-workers lost battles with cancer over the years. Both of them were my age. Both of them were very good responsible people who were liked, if not loved, by most people in the office and in their lives. Why? They each left a spouse and children behind.
Now I hear of another friend who is apparently entering her final battle with a cancer that she has fought for years. She spreads love and kindness wherever she goes. She is an inspiration to those that know her. She is a helper to members of her family that need her. She guides nieces and nephews as they try to make their way through life. And now it looks as though the battle is coming to an end. Someone who has worked so hard to help is rewarded by taking the life they love away.
Stopping a moment to make it clear, I do believe all of these people have been given eternal life by He who promised it to them. It doesn't ease the pain or the feeling of loss or what they meant to the world to make any sense though, Not to me. It is hard for me to understand.
Even when elderly people die, there seems to be an unfairness to it. We can look at someone who has lived a long life and be thankful that we had them for so long. The pain and loss is still there but we can look at their lives as a whole and see a whole library of things that they had accomplished and the differences they made. Then my mind shifts to one man. One man who is still alive in California and living off of the government and shows no sign of dying. Charles Manson. Is it fair that my Uncles have died while Manson continues to thrive and be taken care of and not making any contribution to society or to humankind whatsoever? There are lots of Mansons out there who continue to make their way through life while others have passed and I am sorry but I would much rather have my aunts and uncles alive and teaching me rather than see a news report on Manson every six months. Fairness is not present even when an elderly person passes.
Finally, what about the fairness to those who are left behind after the death of a loved one? I am not sure how I would be able to see others complain about kids or friends or family members when I have lost mine. I am pretty sure I would feel frustrated, hurt, angry ... all kinds of emotions.
What about a mother who loses her father, has her son take his own life because of bullying, and loses her husband when they have only had thirty years or so together? Then her daughter and another son fall ill while she tries to continue on and keep the family together? It isn't her fault to have all these things befall her and it certainly isn't fair when looking at other families around who cause trouble and are what some would describe as pure evil.
Life is not fair when it comes to matters of life and death. I am not sure why I felt compelled to write this other than to express my own confusion at the seemingly randomness of it all, and the random feeling makes it feel so unfair.
This is a confusing writing I know. It is just thoughts flying off the top of my head and going down to the keys. More or less, I think this is to serve me as a starting point in which to be able to think about these things and try to come to an understanding. I am not sure if understanding it is possible though.
I don't care so much for my life. It is something in my head that makes me feel that I would be happy to trade places with Alesia or Rachel or Laurie or anybody I know that is being taken unfairly. Each time I hear of someone and my head says "that is SO unfair" the next thought is immediately "Let me take their place". Let the world receive all that they have to give. It is much more than I have to give.
This is just a starting off point, I think, in my quest to make sense of things. To understand. I know it doesn't make sense, but then again, you all get a first hand look into my mind and the way it thinks.
Maybe this will help me. Maybe it will help you. Maybe it will make us all just stop and think a little. I don't know.