Thursday, October 28, 2010

ON MY FORTY-FIFTH BIRTHDAY ... A POEM OF SORTS

FORTY-FIVE YEARS
October 13, 2001

Forty-five years is long enough to live
after all that time, nothing left to give
except trouble and bother and stupid thoughts
that no one cares and that no one sought
The nothingness that awaits us all
is sitting there waiting for me to fall
i think i am ready to take that final plunge
and my life and waste of space will be expunged
Forty-five years is dragging it out too long
after all that time, it is tough to be strong
the trouble and the bother to make another day
is almost impossible with the walls that are in the way
my mind is empty now, more so than before
i cant remember anything and it chills me to the core
so many things i saw before i was even thirty-five
i've added ten more years that i shouldn't be alive
forty-five years, maybe it really is time to go
i can't feel nothing. not even a little sorrow
forty-five years, it takes strength to make a life
now i can only wonder if it was worth the strife
now i realize that it also takes strength to die
the big question now is if i have it and why
forty-five years and i realize i don't have enough
strength to do the one thing, i ain't tough enough.
i don't have it in me to take that final stride
i guess i have no choice but to live and to abide.

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